recently, some friends came to me to talk about their love life. maybe i seems like a consultant regarding this kind of thing, wahaha~ but in fact, i do have my weak points too. many ask me, how i can overcome it? how i can take some things so lightly? i can say, i dont take it lightly at one shot, alot of things needs time to get out, needs to understand to see through, needs belief to be able to let go. if some thing to you is unable to let go, i can for sure you can never let it go because you dont even believe that you could. isnt it? different people view things differently, in fact everyone clearly knows that no one in this world is EXACTLY the same, but everyone often expect people to be the same as they are, especially towards those they loved. because in your inner heart, you hope he/she can be like what you wish he/she can be. & this is human natural. even you might not really mean so, but naturally we are because we had feelings. its never ever able to see your loved ones with another person but yet you are REALLY very happy. you can choose to let he/she go, but sadness is something that definitely will be felt, its just how long it takes for you to really let it go. =) to me, the biggest hurt is from someone who loved me most, so those who dont really worth my love, i can easily let it go. every failed relationship, there is no whoever's fault. there is no right or wrong, there is no who did right who did wrong. if there must be a blame, then both parties is in fault. if he leave me for other girl, maybe on the surface, people will point the finger at him and says he is heartless. but think again, if i am really that good and really suitable enough to hold his heart, he wont fall for someone else either. relationship is not about what you do, how much you love, how much you commit. to me, its about mutual understanding, trust and communication to hold it strong but of cause, there must be feelings involved to. sometimes i fall for someone i dont even know why, sometimes i just like that someone even if he is so god damn sucks to the core, but its just so naturally and uncontrollable. dont ask why it happen because there is no answer to it. when you fall, you just fall. and perhaps you dont even know how you fall. last time, i used to wonder why, i cant figure out and i made myself stressful over this kind of love thing. because i dont know what to do, and i am afraid to do. i am afraid of losing, and i want my dignity, because i am afraid that if i say the real thing out, what will happen.. but now. i dont. because i dont want to live in regret. like means like, cannot avoid. keeping and hiding is just making myself feel terrible but no one knows. and maybe perhaps making that party feels terrible too. what if he is also waiting for your response? isnt it? yes, maybe he is not. but when you confess, when you say, you know the truth. yes, maybe there is sadness, disappointment, awkwardness, however bad it could be, however hurt it can be, but trust me, no pain no gain. thats what i believe. if you never felt hurt, then its harder to let go. even if you dont get what you wish for, but you gain experience, you gain self-improvement, and maybe you gain a friend. =) i believe everyone had their own healing power, healing skill. its born in us, its just how willingly we want to use them. dont say you cant, you are just stubborn. because not till the end of your life, you cant say you cant! you can, its just a matter of when... if you come and tell me you cant let it go, then i will just tell you dont let go then. isnt it? i dont let go easily, but when i really able to let go, seriously the truth is i dont even know how i did it. because it is just so NATURALLY, and you just will realise it just like the very first moment like how NATURALLY you fall for it~ =D

wahaha reach the quarter of a century - 25 years.

im older now! =(

anyway, im not celebrating my birthday this year as im really busy with work and i am also too tired to plan any celebration either. the month of june is filled up by work, its all about daily work, company's dance lesson for e sales party, and company's training, all at once~in the start of june but thank god, finally get to rest yesterday ( Monday ). although it had been tired but i had a new experience about work and my life had been filled up with a sense of fulfillment and also challenges. now ive reach a new embarkment of the 25~ its really time to strive! c'mon~ haha jiayou~

at a happier note, just had my company's sales party held on the 16 june 2010, and below are some pictures for updates:

gotta end here, tomorrow still have to work~ strive! hope it can be a good good day! =)

things are not going as smooth as it was planned, loads are piling up my shoulder and i felt tough. yet, i dont wish to give up, and i dont wish myself to back out. i want to stay on, and stay stronger! this job is seriously a tough one, very challenging. i dont really know how to explain, too many things to learn and i couldnt slow down a bit. i am feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally. but yet, i still feel like going to work. 0.0 a little ridiculous but i really wish that i can overcome it. all i need now is my strength and energy to be back on track. aside work, there is something on my mind recently too. i dont really wanted to think about it, but it just so naturally flew into my mind and stubbornly couldnt be removed. i am not sure about why i am having this feelings but its so true that i am feeling this way. i think i had fall hard for it. should i or should i not? i cant make a decision. i dont know what could i do. to love or be loved. i am doubtful~ LOL. can i just dont be so emo? can i just have a brain that works like a computer? so that i can just all that i need to know and learn for work fast enough to meet their standard and also able to remove some stupid thinking out of my mind. human just cant fight over controlling their feelings. argh~ >,<

on a deeper note, to most of the people out there, i was labeled as naive, stubborn, WEIRD. zzz, in fact, i do not understand why should i follow what they wish that i would become? i never thought i was naive, perhaps the ways i do things seems a little foolish. but its all because i just hope my life can be as simple as it could be. i just want to be myself, i just dont like complicated stuffs and i just dont like misunderstandings and conflicts. why must one demands another to turn into what they wish them to be like? seriously i dont agree, regardless it is between relationship or friendship or even between family, i would still wish they are who they are. yes, there is sure things that i might not be the same with them, there might be just things that i am not happy about, but it all takes mutual understandings and givings, and not by demanding one to change just to suit the other ways of living. i am satisfied with my life, why is it so that had to mean that i had no ambition? i am easy-going, why is it so that had to mean that i am weak? apparently if i choose to differ, why must that had to mean that i am being rebellious or stubborn? i dont know why should that be? if i had a different mindset, it means i am wrong? there is no right or wrong, everyone had its own freedom to choose their ways of thinking. am willing to discuss about how to go with that, but please never demand me to be like that. if i can accept, i will. if i cant, how do you want me to be like one? maybe you can but sorry i cannot. i hate lying, i hate the feel of disguise, i hate not being myself. and this is me. i am understanding, but that does not mean i am a push-over. i dont argue not because i dont dare to, i just find it pointless to say anything if in the first place i am not being trusted. i will argue when i felt that i should, i will stand my point when i felt there is a need, so please do not take me as a weak. i can be really nice, but i can be really nasty too. money is the most powerful things that could affect people. i used to hate it, seriously i do. i hate it so much i spent every single cent i had without thinking about how useful it can. in the past, i can purchase things just because i want to spent, i just want to spent that money away and not because i like that thing or need that thing. i hate money because it changes humanity and thats why it never weighs in me. i spent it like nobody business. i never thought about savings, i never thought about having alot of money. but now i do. although i still spent, but i am trying to change. about finance, yes, i admit i dont know how to think in the past and i know that is my flaw. i know i need to change, and i believe its never too late to do so. i may not want to be the best, be on the top or be the first, but that does not means i did not want to be a better person. i never stop improving myself. i just hope you can understand that i do hope things could be better. and i really hope i can overcome all the unhappy things on hand.