THE BIRTH STORY
im having contraction since 27 november 2008. as it was very constant, was asked to hospitalised to induce baby ger out but i choose to go home to wait for the pain instead. having mild cramps for the next 2 days but dont seems like contraction pain to me as its poking kind. 28 november 2008 night, had some brown muscus discharge, but was told it was normal as i had a cervix check just the day before.
29 november 2008
i didnt sleep for the whole night since 28 november 2008. was feeling uncomfortable about the vaginal pain that im having throughout the night. it started around 10plus in the morning that i start to feel very mild contraction pain. didnt really take note of it cause my vaginal was also in pain. [the needle-like pain] it was till around 11am, i start to notice that the contraction pain didnt subside. i start to time it - almost exactly 10minutes once .. wasnt really sure about it so i continue to time it till 12pm plus!! haha. called up my mum to tell her about my constant pain, she then asked me to go hospital. as mum and dad were working, she asked my 2nd younger brother to accompany me over. slowly i went bath and packed some stuff for admission and headed down to KK Hospital. the contraction pain is still mild at then, so i am still able to walk, waited 20minutes for cab. zzzz.~so reached KK Hospital around 2pm. i walked to the delivery suite and tell them that i am having constant pain. the nurse-on-duty check on me and i was 3cm dilated so i was sent to the delivery room immediately. my 2nd brother was unable to come in and had to 'bird' outside. as it was a SATURDAY, dad's shop is so busy with customer that they couldnt rushed down for my admission. im sucha fool that i didnt do my admission thing earlier, end up, i couldnt be able to had my gynae - Dr Tseng to come for my delivery as i need to admit to B1 ward in order to have him over but i had to pay SGD 700 immediately! [this was my FIRST foolish stupid thing] i wasnt told earlier, so i was unaware about all these!! i wanted to stay in no air-con wards [cause im so afraid of cold] but i wished to have my gynae to assist in my delivery afterall i had been seeing him all these while. in dilema, but yet i still choose to had my gynae over,called my mum, and asked her to come down cause i dont have SGD700 in my bank account.but the outcome is they are unable to wait for my mum to come down and pay!!!! wtf? they say if only using medisave, they can delay but i had to pay the SGD 700 immediately.=.=" they say i was admitted at 2pm plus, its already half an hour, they need to get the paper work ready by an hour. in the end, i was somehow 'being force' to give up having my gynae to come over. i took a B2 ward then cause its fully subsidised by medisave, no air-con and i can just use my medisave so my mum dont need to rush down for me.
alone in the room,strapped on for CTG and on dripped. 3pm plus, the doctor-on-duty came to check on me, i was 4cm dilated but not much effaced. the contraction got more tense but i am still fine with it. tried holding my breathe everytime the contraction pain comes.at that moment, 2 nurse came in and talked to me about a survey that they are doing. [this was my ANOTHER foolish stupid thing], it was about the directed delivery and the spontaneous delivery thing, i am not sure if you guys know about this. it was like saying, cause singapore had always been having directed delivery [guided delivery by midwives, nurses or doctors.] but due to some reports, other countries are performing something called spontaneous delivery [no guided, push when you feel like pushing.], and it turns out seems better than directed delivery, so they was doing the survey, as i wasnt using any pain-relief methods [no epidural or jabs was used], and i must be first-timer and aged 21 and above, so i was eligible for it. i swear at that particular moment, i knows what the nurse means about the directed and spontaneous, but i got a little misunderstood! maybe because her english was so 'indian' slang that i didnt really catch the ball, end up, i stupidly agreed for doing that survey and signed cause i thought it was just that i can be allowed to push when i want..[but actually not.] i still remember that i asked the nurse, ' its actually nothing much right? ' and she replied 'yah, just to let you know. actually its nothing much.' i didnt really put that part in mind, never will i know that IT will become my foolish act in the later part! my mum reached around 6pm,she was allowed in the delivery suite because i am not married. *special case.
the contraction at that point comes every 5minutes interval. i am still coping well with the pain. around 8pm, the doctor-on-duty came and checked on me again, 5cm dilated, so he broke my water bag. inserted something into my vaginal to listen to baby's heartbeat. so sickening, that thing keep come out and he had to keep putting.. ZZZ. for several times. so uncomfortable okays!! he's like not treating my vaginal a thing that do had feelings!!! i was being asked if i wanted epidural, the nurse asked me to consider carefully cause she say if later i want, it will be too late. cause pain-relief jab is already no use for me at that moment already. but i still insist on not taking. when my water bag burst, big gush of warm water flows out, a short relief. phew~ and this was when the 'kick' starts, after my water bag was burst, the pain rise!!!! from my scoreboard of 2, i put it onto 6!!! at around 9pm, i start using the so-called laughing gas. no use for me at all, it seems like i am breathing oxygen. haha. no smell, no 'high' , no reliefs!! simply like air to me!!!! OMG~
but i still tried my best to endure it.around 10pm, there was a part i feel like shitting, i told the nurse, she say shit lorx. i remember seeing other's mothers' blogs that feeling like passing-motion its a sign that maybe baby is coming out! but my feelings tells me that its not that kind, its i really wanted to SHIT! so i yell, no i really wanted to shit! but yet, she still say shit lorx!!! my mum also asked me to shit, and this is my MOST EMBARRASSING thing i ever did in my life okays! i REALLY SHITTED!! god damn! i feel so embarrassing but the shit just came out uncontrollably! the doctor-on-duty came and he saw i shitted too lorx, haix. LOL. he checked me again after the nurse cleanse my *rubbish* and i was only 6cm dilated! what the hell, i was like huh???? only 1 more cm???
i let out my first yells at around 11pm plus, the contraction is like never really stops. i thinks maybe its every 1min interval bah, not very clear already cause the pain is making me hell. i vividly remember my mum tries to put the gas on me but i push it away. its a totally irritating thing to me by then! haha, i rather choose to go without it. so i was holding my breathe almost every minute. i yell for about 10mins, till there's a part i screamed, "i want epidural!!!" lol.
then, the doctor-on-duty came back in again, checked me and he said OA. lights shines on me. yes! i know its time. and very luckily, i was 10cm dilated in just an hour! a midwife came in, she only said one sentence:" ok, good, open up your legs, use ur hands and hold your legs open." then, another nurse came in and said:" she's on survey, you cant assist!" i heard that and i was like WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so the midwife went out, left only the nurse-in-charge for me was in the room! [my mum went out too cause she dont dare to watch the procedure.] i swear at that very point of time i totally regretted! i didnt know, spontaneous delivery its TOTALLY no one to guide me AT ALL!!!!! how i know what to do sia??? and the only nurse was like sitting down at a side with a file on the table, watching me! the only thing she said was "push when you feel like pushing". i felt alone, helpless! my mind is i only want to end it ASAP! i tried to push even when i am not feeling the contraction pains. after several tries, i still dont feel any feelings of passing motion neither do i feels that my baby is coming out! i can even feels her kicks, so she's still in my tummy lorx! i shouted to the nurse, i dont want to do the survey anymore, i want someone to guide me but she just asked me to try! _l_ farked okays! i know i got no one to help me so i push myself, keep pushing and pushing.
until around 12am plus, i felt something in my vaginal, hard one. i sense its my baby. so i keep pushing and i hold on to my breathe instead of letting off cause i scare if i let off, baby will go back to the womb again.haha. and after 3-4times i hold my breathe and push i can feel she is coming out! i vividly saw the nurse stood up and start preparing, i told myself to hang on to my breathe, and one last push, finally she's OUT at 12.30am!! the nurse came quickly to cleanse baby ger. it was a TOTAL relief~ i almost went breatheless! my throat is totally dried up for my constantly deep-breathing and yelling. she cries out loud the moments she is out! and was kicking my legs. i thought i will cry, but i didnt. hmm.. but i felt really happy, an undescribable joy inside me. but then, my MOST worried part came, the stitching!! i was jab at the vaginal areas, but not all fully numbed. some parts when the doctor sew me, i can feel the poking pain!! really hell! people use laughing gas during contractions, i used it during stitching!! LOL. cause it makes me feels more secured perhaps although its not pain-reliefing at all.
everything done, and i was sent to ward. i couldnt sleep at all till the next day evening!! the tremor stills with me, not about the delivery part, but the stitching part!! dont ask me why, i also dont understands why, although stitching is not really that painful, but it just turns me and makes me goes nuts!!!!
thank god, although it wasnt easy although at that moment was like hell but im glad i experienced it this way cause at least i did manage to overcome it! yes~ FINALLY. =).
now is the final 'torturing', and the 'worst' part to me! the after-maths pain!! the wound!
hope it heals fast~ i want to be TOTALLY free!!! haha..
