someone took my heart away. i felt dead, because i cant get him out of my life, because i dont bear to, because i just dont know why. he made me questioned myself, he made me felt my heart pounding hard, he made my heart skip a beat, he made me hold my breathe, he made me speechless, he made me go crazy inside.

recently, im very happy. because i made a wish when i was younger and it came true. i should be contented, i really should. but why am i not? why do i have greed? all these time, sometimes i feel like running away, sometimes i feel like cutting it off, but i did not. i thought i had already get over him long ago, but what the fuck is this now? why is the same old feeling came back to me so strongly? i had not been in this state for a long long time, i almost forgot that i used to be one who did crazy stuffs, who can also felt so weak under someone's else presence. towards love, i had always been a strong girl. i can always let it go and i made myself done with it. im always light-hearted and happy-go-lucky with it. but why im feeling so lousy this time? i felt im such a failure because i cant get over. " i wont fall for him again, that is just puppy love " - yes, all of you had guess correctly, i failed my words. laugh at me*, its okay. im not saying out his name, because i am not going to declare. its not that im afraid, in other word, i am not. i just dont want to make him felt embarrassed because this is a public blog. i am a very straight forward girl, i can do crazy things for love, i am someone bold enough to tell a guy, "be my boyfriend". i am that sort of people. i can still love someone even if he doesnt love me, i am not afraid to love, not afraid to get hurt. but i know where i stand, i had no rights to hope for more because i had my girl, i had my responsibilty for her & i also know my world is far from his. so, friends is what i can hope for. i hope i can treat him just like a friend one day, i hope i can ease the fondness & the kind of idolise feelings i had for him one day, so that i wont feel so weak & so torturing like how it is now.