best thing to start off a day, is definitely a smile from someone who can make you felt happy. believe it anot, when you're happy, you tends to feel lucky. =D when you're down, everything is just so suay. & when you're angry, anything can just turn you crazy! so this explains; "how your mood can affects your day". although life is not what we can fully control, but in life, we are still given choices that we can decide to choose the route we want to take at every junction by ourselves. i made choices, sometimes it turns out to be a mistake but till the end i will still appreciate it happened. cause i believe things happened for a reason.

be satisfied. be happy.

how many can really do it? i doubted myself eventually. i cannot be 24/7 happy, but at least i tried to make myself to be. recently, some things happened; there are people who made me disappointed, people who made me impressed. yet after everything, im still back on the track because i sincerely thank you for all that had happened as experiences made me grows. at least i knew i am stronger than before now. setbacks, disppointment, sadness, hurt, no matter how unhappy its gonna be, i will turn it into a strength to make me go on stronger. needless to say, happiness can boost me even higher! it goes the same for me towards love, & relationship. regardless of what had happened in the past, im not gonna give up myself in trusting people who i want to trust and believe in true love still exist. i am a realist but i do believe in miracles. im a stubborn girl, im contradicting and unpredictable. many could not understand me. sometimes i dont understand myself too. laugh* that explains why when im getting restless, i do questioned myself too. but when i get back on the move, i will say, "there is always a reason why i am being like this." its just that the reason had not yet appear in my life. love comes & goes, only the one meant to be will stays. i will find it, i will meet the one, it just a matter of when. it could be the next moment, or 10years down the road or even longer or even till my next life or my next next life but it will never be never ever. i am once loved, i had got my perfect love. that is why i believe there is true love. although we are not fated to be together in this life, but what he had gave me is the most perfect love & care i had ever felt up till now in all my 24 years of life. many asked me why am i so persistent on him, who had already passed away for going 8years now? i am not. they thought i had not yet open my heart to others,[ which in the past i also thought maybe i am ], but i did think about it. after soul-searching, i realised its not so. its not that i had not move on, frankly i did. for everyone i had once loved, i did put my heart to love. i talk about him because he really meant alot to me. & i really hope the one who loved me will loved him. it sounds ridiculous, but if you were me, if you truly can understand what i am saying, you also will not want to remove such a person from your heart. it will be there, deep down in my heart forever till i die. im staying stronger because he gave me the strength to move on. every time i am down, restless, sick & tired, i think of him & his doings, i could made myself happy. because i had promise to move on, live on, happily~ for him. i will love & be loved. thats the only thing i can do for him now for what he had done for me.

he is my God, he is my guardian angel, he is my beliefs.

he is Ed.

he, will be my forever love.

but is not my only love.

because i had loved others before, and in future i will love someone else. i still believe in it. i still do, trust me. because before you know how to love, you need to learn how to trust. =D