aLoNe aT hOmE =(

im alone at home now, feeling kinda low today. =( . whole family had went out for grandma's birthday celebration dinner. as i mention earlier, mum suggests me not to go, so now i am left alone at home, so lonely. =/ . dont know why my tears roll down just moments ago when everyone left, somehow, i felt that i am not really happy about being asked to stay home. to me, i feels that baby ger's existence and i am actually not married is a fact, i may be able to avoid gossiping and questioning from all those relatives for now, but what about in future to come? although i do understands my mum's feelings, and i dont really wish to argue with her cause it may hurt her, but deep down, i just feels that if i can i will just let everyone knows the true fact. afterall, my baby ger is coming to this world, real soon. and i am not ashamed to let people know that yes i am NOT married and am going to be a single mum! well anyway, i am alright now, just being a lil emotional just now. i am not angry about my mum's action, cause i truly understands her point. as frankly speaking, i aint any closed with my father's side relatives, due to the complications in our family line. <-[hard to explain it thou.] towards some uncles or aunties, cousins, we are like simply strangers, we dont even say hi to each other even if we happen to saw each other on the streets. LOL. i only knew a few uncles and aunties, the rest is like only see them once a 2 years or 3 years? thats how NOT CLOSE i am with my father's side relatives. but somehow, you know. quite a few of them just like to nag, say and boost among themselves, which for me, i simply DETEST this kind of people. =.= . maybe we are not as rich as them, not as successful as them, so everytime, attending this kind of family gathering isnt really fun. =X . i thinks alot of people do experiences the same thing. so you guys know what i means! haha. life is just like this.



today, i been having tummyache. being heading for the loo doing BIG business for quite a number of times. wondering is it alright? i must have ate something not clean. =X . hopefully, the pain can ease soon. =)