well, 8 of August, im currently at 36week & 5 days of my pregnancy. went for checkup lately and im weighing 53.95kg already! in fact its about the same as my previous 2 pregnancies, weight gained so far is 13.95kg~ hopefully BabyGirl can also be around 3kg when deliver. ^^ 2 more days I will be in my full-term, cant wait cant wait~ yet im feeling nervous too. thinking about the needles, stitching, contractions, im already kinda tensed up. although 3rd time, but im still afraid! LOL. still the same, hope for a smooth delivery and a healthy baby. =DD

HATE THIS KIND OF FEELINGS.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE

I TREAT PEOPLE HOW THE WAY THEY TREAT ME.

AND THIS IS ME, IM BORN THIS WAY.

ANYWAY, HAPPY 2MTHS TO MY BOY, ZACHARY ! ^^

39 WEEKS 1 DAY

well another week had past, im reaching my final few days of pregnancy yet BabyBoy is still in my tummy. went for my last appointment today at KKH. currently weighing 55.95kg already! thats 16kg of weight gain! oh my god! compare to last pregnancy, i have gained 2kg more this time round, hopefully can slim back too. had my cervix check today again, & im still not really dilated. its just a little...as in 0.5cm? LOL~ although contractions is frequent but they are not at all regular & not even opening up my cervix, so till now no signs of labour yet. anyway, it had been scheduled that if by 25 January 2012 i still have not yet give birth, i will have to be admitted to induce BabyBoy already as the hospital only allows maximum 5days after EDD to wait. so 23-24 is CNY Day 1 & Day 2, so i choose 25, which falls on CNY Day 3. hopefully he be out before that date, i really dont wish to be induce. hope for a natural birth seriously. =)  so countdown to 25 January, it will be 9days. & i will get to see BabyBoy soon ^^

today is her first time, & her first day of school. she is now attending Nursery 2 in PCF. didnt get her to school last year, so decided to let her start a year earlier before going Kindergarten next year so that she could somehow be more independent. she started off really good, no crys & she is so excited over her new school & friends. but at the later part when the class dismissed after 4hours, she was crying & looking for me. LOL. well, hopefully she will start to get used sooner. i think its very natural she will feel slightly afraid as its her first time communicating with so-called 'strangers' without anybody she knows for few hours. but i believe my girl, who is out-going, should be able to adapt fast when she start to make friends with the kids there as she loves accompanies! =D jiayou my girl ^^

also went for my check-up today at KKH. im currently 38weeks 1day now. weighing 54.7kg already! oh my~ im heavier this time round. haha. had CTG today too, im having contractions but very irregular, baby's heartbeat was good so its fine. although my cervix had effaced & midwife says its very soft but im not at all dilated yet. luckily im not dilated if not she will want me to be admitted to induce BabyBoy out. although i do hope to have labour sooner but i still feel that im not ready for inducing! i think i feel better if its coming naturally ^^ so right now, lets pray for the real contractions to come sooner~ 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY 2012

its another year! bye 2011, & welcome 2012. may this year be a good year for everyone. the first day of 2012, im officially in my 37weeks of pregnancy! BabyBoy is now full-term! alright, its anytime. yes, anytime from now....i cant deny for this pregnancy, im so anxious to see BabyBoy, hoping he be out sooner everyday. will it happen? haha~ seriously only God knows. my appetite is getting bad recently, not eating much & simply dont really feel like eating at all. cravings all gone, nausea came back. having pain all over~ hard to sleep, hard to walk.. baby head now engaged to the pelvis area, thus im feel really heavy down there. the vaginal poking pain can make me yell suddenly. LOL~ those sharp pain is really so much worse than labour pain! been having Braxton Hicks contractions lately, but its getting lesser today.. 0.o isit alright? i thought it supposed to get more & more frequent towards the due date? well, shall monitor.. anyway, 2012 is now here. a brand new year ahead. my resolution is get a good job, earn more money, save more money, my childrens & families to be all healthy & happy~ =) from now on, my focus shall be more on my kids & family. fun & entertainment gonna reduce, & must really control myself from spending!!!!! 

35 weeks 6 days

woo~ im going to my 36 weeks. a week more i will be in 37 weeks. oh my~ seems like its getting nearer & nearer. *anxious. today went for my routine check-up at KKH, well im weighing 53.4kg already! im heavier this time round, but many told me its because im carrying a boy, so its naturally will be heavier. isit true? 0.o alright, im having the stabbing pain in my vaginal area these few days, & midwife told me its because BabyBoy head had engaged to my cervix which is called lightening/dropping. thus the pressure on my bladder is so much heavier & im so clumsy nowadays. it hurts when i move myself, especially the pubic bone area. sleeping is so hard cause as & when i need to pee, & the pain is making me hard to fall into sleep. argh insomnia days is back. =( but this is all normal during late pregnancy & all i can do now is just endure a few more weeks! hopefully BabyBoy will want to be out when he is full-term ^^. by the way, this time round, i did not see any specific doctor. i choose under subsidised rate thus im seeing the midwife clinic instead. i find it unnecessary due to my first pregnancy experience. LOL if you read my past posts on my pregnancy & delivery for my girl, you will know that the last time i used to see a specific doctor, which price classified as private. but in the end, somehow also partially due to my own stupidity, i end up going through my whole labour without my gynae, worse is i got NOBODY to assist at all. not even midwives! so why should i pay more this time? haha~ each & every time i think about spending double on every appointment for my last pregnancy but end up i got nothing just make me feel its not worth at all. i rather used it for milk powder & diapers this time round. seriously* i think it wont be as bad when you had experienced the "no one there delivery procedure" than now at least this time i will have midwives & even doctor-on-duty to assist, right? somehow i feel that midwives knows so much more than a doctor. eventually i find that midwives will explain more in details & made me understand more about pregnancy than doctors. lastly, still the same old wish, pray for a smooth delivery & a healthy baby =)

p/s: an early wish of merry christmas & a happy new year to everyone. cheers & enjoy the festive ^^

relatives from KL

had a long 2 days yesterday & the day before, my grandpa & my eldest uncle & his family came to Singapore for holiday on friday. so we had to be the host & of cause bring them around our little island. in fact, for my grandpa, it is his first time travelling! yes, in all his years, he never step out of his little kampong village in KL. the furthest he's been was just Ipoh? or perhaps Penang? but still its in Malaysia. despite 2 of his daughters, which is my mum & my youngest aunt was married over to Singapore, he had never came over before, not even to attend the weddings. LOL. thus, his nickname was 'mountain tortoise'. this time, when we heard that he will be coming out, everyone was shocked that he had agree. which was like 'are you sure?' at first, he was reluctant but in the end submitted when my uncle's wife finally persuaded him to. at least he can get to visit us & take a look at a world outside that small village. so on friday, mum & i with my girl EnEn, headed to Sembawang to wait for them as they be staying at my aunt's place instead of ours. so we went to her house to wait. then yesterday, we headed to Sentosa. a long long hectic but fun day. too bad hubby couldnt follow due to work. =( if not, it would be more memorable. woke up as early as 8am plus to get ready, waited for them to come over our house here so we can take cab together. (as we need to split to 3 cabs & they need us to bring them around in case they got lost as only me, my aunt & my aunt's hubby knows how to go, my mum is another mountain tortoise =X ) we had breakfast and then headed to Sentosa around 10plus. its so hard to take a cab due to the breaking down of our SMRT!!! luckily they manage to take the train from Sembawang to Ang Mo Kio when coming over to my house. by the time when all 3 groups reach Resort World, its already going 12. had our day walking around for their photo-shooting & sadly, the rain is also a hassle and somehow wasted most our time indoor, where there's not much for sight-seeing. wanted to bring my cousins to play the Luge ride, but too bad we didnt get to. headed to Underwater World & Dolphin Lagoon. bring my girl in too as she had never been there. so happy to see she is so amazed yet a little frightened when she saw those BIGGER fishes. am glad she enjoyed it. we continue walking & sight-seeing, headed to the beach around evening when the rain stops. & then Merlion & back to RW. in the end, we reach home its already 11pm plus. what a long day~ but its really fun. woke up today, & now im having muscle-ache.. LOL.

on another note, today im in my 35weeks of pregnancy! omg~ 2 more weeks & BabyBoy will be in his full-term. im getting anxious...& of cause labour start to come in mind yet again. argh the pain~ hopefully i pray for a smooth delivery & a healthy BabyBoy =) cant wait to see you... shall stop here, will upload the pictures at a later time as its with my aunt's hubby, i didnt get to take any pictures with my that lousy camera...

32 WEEKS 6 DAYS

alright, im in my 32weeks & 6days now. went for check-up at KKH today with edlysia & sister-in-law as hubby is busy with work. im currently weighing at 51.8kg! which means ive gained 11.8kg so far~ still remember when i had edlysia, i gained a total of 13.95kg, so hopefully this time round it can remain about the same, not much heavier =X so roughly baby could be also around 3plus kg when birth too? not too sure if it can be calculated in such a way~ haha. as somehow im afraid BabyBoy will be too big for me as edlysia is already consider big size for me when she's born at 3.25kg. so just hope it be about the same ok? didnt have any scanning done today, so didnt get to see BabyBoy, but good that BabyBoy's head is still down. im feeling so tight & heavy now, especially my tummy, it's like its gonna explode anytime. i felt my skin is so fully stretched that i cant really move about as easy as the previous pregnancy. i really wonder how am i able to cope till delivery?! imagine baby will grow even more during the last few weeks, & now at 32weeks only im already feeling so tight and heavy. imagine going to pee every hour? thats how much pressure it is on my bladder now. i had been getting resltess night nowadays due to waking up to pee every now & then. & the itchiness!!! argh~ my skin's condition due to the rashes is getting from bad to worse after ive stopped the rashes medicine during the past one month, so now i had to take back the medication although it does makes me drowsy.but i was advised not to take as often & only when necessary & was actually being referred to the National Skin Centre for a check as KKH also dont know why it gets so bad & those medicated lotion cant help to cure at all. =( my last pregnancy also the same, but it only happened during my last trimester, but this time round it started to break out right from start, thus causing it getting really bad now after 7months of torturing. i did the blood test but its show that my liver is fine. so the only thing now the gynae can do is to refer me to dermalogist instead, but the earliest appointment for it is in January! so i was thinking by that time i might had already given birth, do i still need that check? afterall, i knew my skin problem is 90% caused by pregnancy, only that right now i wanted a solution to stop it from spreading, & im quite sure after pregnancy, it will stop & start to heal just like previously. perhaps i should just endure for a little more if the appointment cant be change earlier. only wish & pray that after give birth, the scars can go off asap cause its really very very bad! everytime i look at my body now, i felt so digusted by the ugly sight of how the rashes had turned my skin into. cry** i believe if i took a picture & post it here, many will just puke too. haha~ well thats why i took off the idea of posting it. so no worries people. ^^ well, after the check-up, we headed to Nex for edlysia to go to the library & we had our dinner at Ramenplay. the nicest ramen ive tasted, compared to the rest, even edlysia love it too. thanks sister-in-law for treating me with the meal. hmm i must say i had a very wonderful sister-in-law, felt really blessed. she's a very nice person, easy-going & can really talk with her. also she had really helped out alot during this pregnancy period, even with her busy schdeule, she still try to find time to help out with all the baby stuffs thing & also for previously our ROM stuffs & etc. she also dote on edlysia too ^^. seriously, i cant express my graditude in words to her.thank God to let me know her.. =) well, gonna stop here & off to bed. nights~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EDLYSIA

my beloved girl

yet again its 30 november, & its my little princess 3rd birthday! how time passed. 3 years ago, she is just a newborn. & look at her now... eventually become a talkative, cute & lovely girl. no longer a baby, no longer a toddler. 3 years old should be now a kid. ^^

i've never regretted to have her in my life. i even love to have her! i felt so blessed ever since her existence, she had changed me & made me feel fully occupied. although life became more stressful, less freedom, but i seriously prefer the days i had with her. if time turned back, i will still choose to have her. thank God for giving me such a lovely girl. love her so much =D

lastly, to my dear precious EnEn, may you be happy & healthy always~ happy 3rd birthday to you~

muacks****

so far so good

went for my routine check-up at KKH today, & very happy that everything turns out well. get to see BabyBoy through the scanning too, his head had went down. my next appointment will be in December. time passes fast, now its November, then December & soon January! which is the month of his arrival =D not too sure if im too anxious for BabyBoy to be out or what, recently i had been having dreams that im either had gave birth to him or having labour which is contraction pains. LOL. anyway, although its not my first time but its still nervous talking about labour. imagine had to go through another round of pain & suffering, whats worse is the aftermath wound & confinement with that postnatal-blues... oh my, im already started to fear again. hopefully this time can be much better & it be best if there is no tear during delivery so no stitching! haha~ im praying very hard for that =D

nothing's more important to me than my childrens. i will work hard for it just to have them be safe, healthy & secure. just hope i can endure through this tough,emotionally-challenged & stressful times. to make a better future to come, i must overcome this down period. so i am telling & reminding myself right now: "dont let this defeat you(me). remember, its not going to be permanent! nothing's impossible, you(i) must believe in hope & you(i) shall succeed!"

heart-aching.

recently the news of a 2years old girl being left unattended on the street after a hit & run in China really got me on my nerves. i cant believe this is real, i cant imagine such inhumanity actually do exist in this world right now. the toddler who cant even merely walk probably, was hit not just once but twice! by a van & then a lorry! wth~ & those passer-bys just take it as they saw nothing lying on the floor. she was just a 2 years old toddler & it took after 18 passerbys who treated her as transparent, just to have an old woman who finally went to aid that helpless girl who had already been bleeding profusely. whats going on with the people there? its heart-aching, not just about the girl, but seeing that people had became so cold-bloodedly makes me felt they are just like murderers. yes murderers, seriously they seems no difference to me by leaving the girl there to die. they aint human, but creatures! & one of the driver who had hit her can even put the blame back on that girl saying that she didnt look where she's going! oh fuck him, if that 2years old could understand how dangerous it is. & how about him? such a grown-up & yet cant SEE where he is heading to? it disgust me even more when he doesnt even felt guilty at all & still dare to say he is not going to turn himself in but to flee as he say he didnt did it intentionally! when the media got hold of this & headed to check out why there isnt any aid, the result is just as saddening. it was due to the fear of extortion? so thats how China's society had become? for the sake of surviving, they've lost their morals. in fact i felt that they had already lost their purpose of living! i hate discrimination as i always thinks that every human is equal & should be treated fairly. but to those people, i cant help but to discriminate them! i dont know how to understand their position, & i cant even accept this is human acts, no matter how ignorant one can be, this shouldnt be happening as even animals have instinct & save their own kind, but it seems like humans are killing one another. & for the girl's parents, i dont know how to say it but somehow i felt sad but i dont pity them. my mind was like :" how can you let your only 2years old daughter wander out in the street like that? " if you really care, you wont leave your child out of sight in the first place when she is just 2 right? as a mother myself, i would have keep an eye on her as she is just too young to know what's dangerous is all about. for our kids, we, the parents should be their guidance & not just leave them on their own! oh my, this really boils me off. sometimes, it got me thinking perhaps thats why God is angry with us. i used to wonder why but now i can truly understand, i felt it deep in me.

these days...

the feelings is not so right, uncomfortable with my tummy. indigestion, heartburn & constipation. & now nausea is back & it sucks. seriously, how do you feel when you keep having the kick of vomiting each time after a meal? it makes me loss of interest in doing anything than to rest on my bed till the feeling subside. what makes me worse is im craving for food all the time. im not hungry but i just want to eat, bite on something sweet, spicy & full of flavours. yet i felt like vomiting. -.-" contradicting.. i dont know why. perhaps have to ask BabyBoy. kinda stressed up lately due to the financial problems, i sincerely hope i can endure it through this tormented moment so i can get back on track once im free of pregnancy & confinement as im not gonna let it be a burden on my shoulder & keep bothering about it. i swear that once i get working & start earning, money will never become a problem again like now. im going to turn my life back to the times when i can spend on with no worries. not necessarily had to be rich, but just as sufficient for expenses & savings. i will & i shall & i must make it happen!!!!!!!!!

a lil UPDATE.

im officially 25weeks in pregnancy today. had my routine check-up at KKH on friday, & BabyBoy is doing fine ^^. didnt get to see him as no scanning was done that day, gotta wait till next appointment in November then i will be able to see him on the screen once again. seriously, time flies really fast. & it seems faster to me this year. is this a sign that im feeling old? its like in a glimpse of eye my girl is now going 3 years old, its like it was only yesterday i had given birth to her & now she's talking to me: "hey mummy, what you're doing?" as a reminiscence, i re-read my blog & the posts i had wrote in the past. what to say, i had a real good laugh on those good times & really had myself reflected on those bad ones. & ive got myself to realise that life is truly unpredictable. you'll never know whats gonna happen in the next moment. just like when i re-read a post i wrote few years back & i said there: "how i wish my house nearby can have a shopping mall like Jurong Point.", & now Nex is just 2 bus-stops away from my house. LOL. just like i had never expected to be pregnant again, but yet im having BabyBoy in my tummy now. in a year time, he will be right beside me & just like my dear Edlysia, giving me laughters & joy. =) somehow or rather, i missed working. especially the days when i was so busy with my previous job. although its been stressful & i always ended up lacking of sleep or no OFF days, but it was really challenging & had fulfilled my daily life. ever since ive left there,i felt a sense of lost. suddenly im not used to be feeling so free again. haha. ive came to realise i really love that job. =X omg, im mad but i cant deny im missing it now. the only doubt i had for not planning to work back that sort of industry is the lost of time accompanying my loved ones which means alot to me too. i feel that having my child accompanied during their childhood time is rather important as i always believe that kid's childhood can affect their future being, & as a mother, i should also do my part for them, spare a thought of what they really needed & not just about earning more bucks for them. so currently, im kinda lost in direction for my career, well hopefully i can get to figure it out what i want to work as after BabyBoy's arrival. having BabyBoy equivalent to having more responsibilities & more expenses needed thus ive gotta work harder & play lesser, but its worth! now i need a house, need a good stable job with enough time for my family, & need savings!! please remind me, not to spend so much & SAVE! im very bad at this, & i gotta really kick off this super bad habits if not its not gonna be good for my kids. unless ive managed to get a job with pay more than 5k. wahaha~~ if not, its better for me to stay away from spending.