addictsoflove

2012-01-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

39 WEEKS 1 DAY

well another week had past, im reaching my final few days of pregnancy yet BabyBoy is still in my tummy. went for my last appointment today at KKH. currently weighing 55.95kg already! thats 16kg of weight gain! oh my god! compare to last pregnancy, i have gained 2kg more this time round, hopefully can slim back too. had my cervix check today again, & im still not really dilated. its just a little...as in 0.5cm? LOL~ although contractions is frequent but they are not at all regular & not even opening up my cervix, so till now no signs of labour yet. anyway, it had been scheduled that if by 25 January 2012 i still have not yet give birth, i will have to be admitted to induce BabyBoy already as the hospital only allows maximum 5days after EDD to wait. so 23-24 is CNY Day 1 & Day 2, so i choose 25, which falls on CNY Day 3. hopefully he be out before that date, i really dont wish to be induce. hope for a natural birth seriously. =) so countdown to 25 January, it will be 9days. & i will get to see BabyBoy soon ^^

2012-01-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL DAY FOR EDLYSIA

today is her first time, & her first day of school. she is now attending Nursery 2 in PCF. didnt get her to school last year, so decided to let her start a year earlier before going Kindergarten next year so that she could somehow be more independent. she started off really good, no crys & she is so excited over her new school & friends. but at the later part when the class dismissed after 4hours, she was crying & looking for me. LOL. well, hopefully she will start to get used sooner. i think its very natural she will feel slightly afraid as its her first time communicating with so-called 'strangers' without anybody she knows for few hours. but i believe my girl, who is out-going, should be able to adapt fast when she start to make friends with the kids there as she loves accompanies! =D jiayou my girl ^^

also went for my check-up today at KKH. im currently 38weeks 1day now. weighing 54.7kg already! oh my~ im heavier this time round. haha. had CTG today too, im having contractions but very irregular, baby's heartbeat was good so its fine. although my cervix had effaced & midwife says its very soft but im not at all dilated yet. luckily im not dilated if not she will want me to be admitted to induce BabyBoy out. although i do hope to have labour sooner but i still feel that im not ready for inducing! i think i feel better if its coming naturally ^^ so right now, lets pray for the real contractions to come sooner~

2012-01-02T17:35:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY 2012

its another year! bye 2011, & welcome 2012. may this year be a good year for everyone. the first day of 2012, im officially in my 37weeks of pregnancy! BabyBoy is now full-term! alright, its anytime. yes, anytime from now....i cant deny for this pregnancy, im so anxious to see BabyBoy, hoping he be out sooner everyday. will it happen? haha~ seriously only God knows. my appetite is getting bad recently, not eating much & simply dont really feel like eating at all. cravings all gone, nausea came back. having pain all over~ hard to sleep, hard to walk.. baby head now engaged to the pelvis area, thus im feel really heavy down there. the vaginal poking pain can make me yell suddenly. LOL~ those sharp pain is really so much worse than labour pain! been having Braxton Hicks contractions lately, but its getting lesser today.. 0.o isit alright? i thought it supposed to get more & more frequent towards the due date? well, shall monitor.. anyway, 2012 is now here. a brand new year ahead. my resolution is get a good job, earn more money, save more money, my childrens & families to be all healthy & happy~ =) from now on, my focus shall be more on my kids & family. fun & entertainment gonna reduce, & must really control myself from spending!!!!!

2011-12-24T04:41:00.005+08:00

35 weeks 6 days

woo~ im going to my 36 weeks. a week more i will be in 37 weeks. oh my~ seems like its getting nearer & nearer. *anxious. today went for my routine check-up at KKH, well im weighing 53.4kg already! im heavier this time round, but many told me its because im carrying a boy, so its naturally will be heavier. isit true? 0.o alright, im having the stabbing pain in my vaginal area these few days, & midwife told me its because BabyBoy head had engaged to my cervix which is called lightening/dropping. thus the pressure on my bladder is so much heavier & im so clumsy nowadays. it hurts when i move myself, especially the pubic bone area. sleeping is so hard cause as & when i need to pee, & the pain is making me hard to fall into sleep. argh insomnia days is back. =( but this is all normal during late pregnancy & all i can do now is just endure a few more weeks! hopefully BabyBoy will want to be out when he is full-term ^^. by the way, this time round, i did not see any specific doctor. i choose under subsidised rate thus im seeing the midwife clinic instead. i find it unnecessary due to my first pregnancy experience. LOL if you read my past posts on my pregnancy & delivery for my girl, you will know that the last time i used to see a specific doctor, which price classified as private. but in the end, somehow also partially due to my own stupidity, i end up going through my whole labour without my gynae, worse is i got NOBODY to assist at all. not even midwives! so why should i pay more this time? haha~ each & every time i think about spending double on every appointment for my last pregnancy but end up i got nothing just make me feel its not worth at all. i rather used it for milk powder & diapers this time round. seriously* i think it wont be as bad when you had experienced the "no one there delivery procedure" than now at least this time i will have midwives & even doctor-on-duty to assist, right? somehow i feel that midwives knows so much more than a doctor. eventually i find that midwives will explain more in details & made me understand more about pregnancy than doctors. lastly, still the same old wish, pray for a smooth delivery & a healthy baby =)

p/s: an early wish of merry christmas & a happy new year to everyone. cheers & enjoy the festive ^^

2011-12-18T17:32:00.002+08:00

relatives from KL

had a long 2 days yesterday & the day before, my grandpa & my eldest uncle & his family came to Singapore for holiday on friday. so we had to be the host & of cause bring them around our little island. in fact, for my grandpa, it is his first time travelling! yes, in all his years, he never step out of his little kampong village in KL. the furthest he's been was just Ipoh? or perhaps Penang? but still its in Malaysia. despite 2 of his daughters, which is my mum & my youngest aunt was married over to Singapore, he had never came over before, not even to attend the weddings. LOL. thus, his nickname was 'mountain tortoise'. this time, when we heard that he will be coming out, everyone was shocked that he had agree. which was like 'are you sure?' at first, he was reluctant but in the end submitted when my uncle's wife finally persuaded him to. at least he can get to visit us & take a look at a world outside that small village. so on friday, mum & i with my girl EnEn, headed to Sembawang to wait for them as they be staying at my aunt's place instead of ours. so we went to her house to wait. then yesterday, we headed to Sentosa. a long long hectic but fun day. too bad hubby couldnt follow due to work. =( if not, it would be more memorable. woke up as early as 8am plus to get ready, waited for them to come over our house here so we can take cab together. (as we need to split to 3 cabs & they need us to bring them around in case they got lost as only me, my aunt & my aunt's hubby knows how to go, my mum is another mountain tortoise =X ) we had breakfast and then headed to Sentosa around 10plus. its so hard to take a cab due to the breaking down of our SMRT!!! luckily they manage to take the train from Sembawang to Ang Mo Kio when coming over to my house. by the time when all 3 groups reach Resort World, its already going 12. had our day walking around for their photo-shooting & sadly, the rain is also a hassle and somehow wasted most our time indoor, where there's not much for sight-seeing. wanted to bring my cousins to play the Luge ride, but too bad we didnt get to. headed to Underwater World & Dolphin Lagoon. bring my girl in too as she had never been there. so happy to see she is so amazed yet a little frightened when she saw those BIGGER fishes. am glad she enjoyed it. we continue walking & sight-seeing, headed to the beach around evening when the rain stops. & then Merlion & back to RW. in the end, we reach home its already 11pm plus. what a long day~ but its really fun. woke up today, & now im having muscle-ache.. LOL.

on another note, today im in my 35weeks of pregnancy! omg~ 2 more weeks & BabyBoy will be in his full-term. im getting anxious...& of cause labour start to come in mind yet again. argh the pain~ hopefully i pray for a smooth delivery & a healthy BabyBoy =) cant wait to see you... shall stop here, will upload the pictures at a later time as its with my aunt's hubby, i didnt get to take any pictures with my that lousy camera...

2011-12-02T23:23:00.000+08:00

32 WEEKS 6 DAYS

alright, im in my 32weeks & 6days now. went for check-up at KKH today with edlysia & sister-in-law as hubby is busy with work. im currently weighing at 51.8kg! which means ive gained 11.8kg so far~ still remember when i had edlysia, i gained a total of 13.95kg, so hopefully this time round it can remain about the same, not much heavier =X so roughly baby could be also around 3plus kg when birth too? not too sure if it can be calculated in such a way~ haha. as somehow im afraid BabyBoy will be too big for me as edlysia is already consider big size for me when she's born at 3.25kg. so just hope it be about the same ok? didnt have any scanning done today, so didnt get to see BabyBoy, but good that BabyBoy's head is still down. im feeling so tight & heavy now, especially my tummy, it's like its gonna explode anytime. i felt my skin is so fully stretched that i cant really move about as easy as the previous pregnancy. i really wonder how am i able to cope till delivery?! imagine baby will grow even more during the last few weeks, & now at 32weeks only im already feeling so tight and heavy. imagine going to pee every hour? thats how much pressure it is on my bladder now. i had been getting resltess night nowadays due to waking up to pee every now & then. & the itchiness!!! argh~ my skin's condition due to the rashes is getting from bad to worse after ive stopped the rashes medicine during the past one month, so now i had to take back the medication although it does makes me drowsy.but i was advised not to take as often & only when necessary & was actually being referred to the National Skin Centre for a check as KKH also dont know why it gets so bad & those medicated lotion cant help to cure at all. =( my last pregnancy also the same, but it only happened during my last trimester, but this time round it started to break out right from start, thus causing it getting really bad now after 7months of torturing. i did the blood test but its show that my liver is fine. so the only thing now the gynae can do is to refer me to dermalogist instead, but the earliest appointment for it is in January! so i was thinking by that time i might had already given birth, do i still need that check? afterall, i knew my skin problem is 90% caused by pregnancy, only that right now i wanted a solution to stop it from spreading, & im quite sure after pregnancy, it will stop & start to heal just like previously. perhaps i should just endure for a little more if the appointment cant be change earlier. only wish & pray that after give birth, the scars can go off asap cause its really very very bad! everytime i look at my body now, i felt so digusted by the ugly sight of how the rashes had turned my skin into. cry** i believe if i took a picture & post it here, many will just puke too. haha~ well thats why i took off the idea of posting it. so no worries people. ^^ well, after the check-up, we headed to Nex for edlysia to go to the library & we had our dinner at Ramenplay. the nicest ramen ive tasted, compared to the rest, even edlysia love it too. thanks sister-in-law for treating me with the meal. hmm i must say i had a very wonderful sister-in-law, felt really blessed. she's a very nice person, easy-going & can really talk with her. also she had really helped out alot during this pregnancy period, even with her busy schdeule, she still try to find time to help out with all the baby stuffs thing & also for previously our ROM stuffs & etc. she also dote on edlysia too ^^. seriously, i cant express my graditude in words to her.thank God to let me know her.. =) well, gonna stop here & off to bed. nights~

2011-11-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EDLYSIA

my beloved girl

yet again its 30 november, & its my little princess 3rd birthday! how time passed. 3 years ago, she is just a newborn. & look at her now... eventually become a talkative, cute & lovely girl. no longer a baby, no longer a toddler. 3 years old should be now a kid. ^^

i've never regretted to have her in my life. i even love to have her! i felt so blessed ever since her existence, she had changed me & made me feel fully occupied. although life became more stressful, less freedom, but i seriously prefer the days i had with her. if time turned back, i will still choose to have her. thank God for giving me such a lovely girl. love her so much =D

lastly, to my dear precious EnEn, may you be happy & healthy always~ happy 3rd birthday to you~

muacks****

2011-11-17T22:52:00.001+08:00

OUTINGS

this month had been going to Nex more often than usual as ive started to bring Edlysia to the library for her to read & borrow books. she is so interested in reading, can say totally loves all the storybooks. =) brought her today to the library with my mum as 2 days ago when we went Nex with hubby & sister-in-law, initially told her we'll be going but end up couldnt get in as we reached there too late, thus she was crying & sad that day, so i bring her today again so she can get to borrow her books home. happy to see her enthusiasm in reading. had our dinner & did some shopping. Edlysia was so tired that she can eventually nearly doze off while walking! LOL so in the end we took cab home. & as for my pregnancy, BabyBoy is kicking me really hard! everytime he moves, my whole tummy seems rocking! wahaha~ exaggerated abit. but it indeed will makes me go 'ouch' or 'argh'. everytime he moves now, can be seen visibly like a wave going across my tummy ~ & it feels like my skin is like being stretched~~~~ i swear its worse than Edlysia's kicks. im getting tired more easily now, but having trouble sleeping due to his continuous moving at times & also the urinating~ i think this boy is really heavy cause i can feel the weight, pressing hard on my bladder making me going the loo for countless times a day even as early as in the 2nd trimester. i only start to feel all this in my late pregnancy when i have Edlysia. i still got 1-2months more for him to grow~ but im somehow already felt heavy & feeling painful now due to the pelvic pain. hopefully BabyBoy dont turn out too BIG for me, but most important is he being healthy~ God Bless ^^

2011-11-15T01:33:00.001+08:00

WEEK 30

alright, im currently hitting the 30's weeks of pregnancy. in about 7weeks more to go, BabyBoy will be in his full-term. how time flies~ this pregnancy i felt heavy, seriously i feel so much clumsier. my tummy gets big earlier & even my bone is hurting in the pubis area as early as i was in my 20's weeks! & as usual, rashes! but this time it hits me very early, i got it right from the first trimester. now my body is full of scars! =( but i know, everything is worth. all these pains & sufferings, for my BabyBoy, is all worth. i believe all mothers is feeling the same, although we nag, grumble but we will still be willing to undergo it. =)

last sunday went for my grandma birthday with hubby & family at the same usual resturant. damn the rain these days, it was so heavy, we had a tough time going there. this year, grandma's health is not that good, have been hospitalised quite a few times, i really hope her health can get better. & talking about grandma's birthday once again, this means edlysia's birthday is also near, as i remember the only year i didnt get to go for her birthday was when i was pregnant with edlysia. as my due date is near & being a single mum that time, i was told to stay home. i knew i posted something sad in my blog too, haha~ well, this year edlysia is turning 3! as usual, not having any party. will just be having a family celebration. well, shall stop here. end with some pictures to share with. nights =D

p/s: ignore the date & time as ive just realised my camera time is wrong previously. LOL

my sweet girl - edlysia

her after-tie-let-go-hair look

at ktv, can see my rashes scar =(

her signature pose - twist*

climbing & twist* again

she had grown so much

on the way to grandma birthday, twist again*

back home, her funny face ^^

my sweetie.

me, edlysia & hubby ^^

sign off, loves.

2011-11-03T23:08:00.001+08:00

so far so good

went for my routine check-up at KKH today, & very happy that everything turns out well. get to see BabyBoy through the scanning too, his head had went down. my next appointment will be in December. time passes fast, now its November, then December & soon January! which is the month of his arrival =D not too sure if im too anxious for BabyBoy to be out or what, recently i had been having dreams that im either had gave birth to him or having labour which is contraction pains. LOL. anyway, although its not my first time but its still nervous talking about labour. imagine had to go through another round of pain & suffering, whats worse is the aftermath wound & confinement with that postnatal-blues... oh my, im already started to fear again. hopefully this time can be much better & it be best if there is no tear during delivery so no stitching! haha~ im praying very hard for that =D

2011-10-24T19:26:00.004+08:00

nothing's more important to me than my childrens. i will work hard for it just to have them be safe, healthy & secure. just hope i can endure through this tough,emotionally-challenged & stressful times. to make a better future to come, i must overcome this down period. so i am telling & reminding myself right now: "dont let this defeat you(me). remember, its not going to be permanent! nothing's impossible, you(i) must believe in hope & you(i) shall succeed!"

2011-10-19T02:18:00.000+08:00

heart-aching.

recently the news of a 2years old girl being left unattended on the street after a hit & run in China really got me on my nerves. i cant believe this is real, i cant imagine such inhumanity actually do exist in this world right now. the toddler who cant even merely walk probably, was hit not just once but twice! by a van & then a lorry! wth~ & those passer-bys just take it as they saw nothing lying on the floor. she was just a 2 years old toddler & it took after 18 passerbys who treated her as transparent, just to have an old woman who finally went to aid that helpless girl who had already been bleeding profusely. whats going on with the people there? its heart-aching, not just about the girl, but seeing that people had became so cold-bloodedly makes me felt they are just like murderers. yes murderers, seriously they seems no difference to me by leaving the girl there to die. they aint human, but creatures! & one of the driver who had hit her can even put the blame back on that girl saying that she didnt look where she's going! oh fuck him, if that 2years old could understand how dangerous it is. & how about him? such a grown-up & yet cant SEE where he is heading to? it disgust me even more when he doesnt even felt guilty at all & still dare to say he is not going to turn himself in but to flee as he say he didnt did it intentionally! when the media got hold of this & headed to check out why there isnt any aid, the result is just as saddening. it was due to the fear of extortion? so thats how China's society had become? for the sake of surviving, they've lost their morals. in fact i felt that they had already lost their purpose of living! i hate discrimination as i always thinks that every human is equal & should be treated fairly. but to those people, i cant help but to discriminate them! i dont know how to understand their position, & i cant even accept this is human acts, no matter how ignorant one can be, this shouldnt be happening as even animals have instinct & save their own kind, but it seems like humans are killing one another. & for the girl's parents, i dont know how to say it but somehow i felt sad but i dont pity them. my mind was like :" how can you let your only 2years old daughter wander out in the street like that? " if you really care, you wont leave your child out of sight in the first place when she is just 2 right? as a mother myself, i would have keep an eye on her as she is just too young to know what's dangerous is all about. for our kids, we, the parents should be their guidance & not just leave them on their own! oh my, this really boils me off. sometimes, it got me thinking perhaps thats why God is angry with us. i used to wonder why but now i can truly understand, i felt it deep in me.

2011-10-15T01:05:00.001+08:00

these days...

the feelings is not so right, uncomfortable with my tummy. indigestion, heartburn & constipation. & now nausea is back & it sucks. seriously, how do you feel when you keep having the kick of vomiting each time after a meal? it makes me loss of interest in doing anything than to rest on my bed till the feeling subside. what makes me worse is im craving for food all the time. im not hungry but i just want to eat, bite on something sweet, spicy & full of flavours. yet i felt like vomiting. -.-" contradicting.. i dont know why. perhaps have to ask BabyBoy. kinda stressed up lately due to the financial problems, i sincerely hope i can endure it through this tormented moment so i can get back on track once im free of pregnancy & confinement as im not gonna let it be a burden on my shoulder & keep bothering about it. i swear that once i get working & start earning, money will never become a problem again like now. im going to turn my life back to the times when i can spend on with no worries. not necessarily had to be rich, but just as sufficient for expenses & savings. i will & i shall & i must make it happen!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

a lil UPDATE.

im officially 25weeks in pregnancy today. had my routine check-up at KKH on friday, & BabyBoy is doing fine ^^. didnt get to see him as no scanning was done that day, gotta wait till next appointment in November then i will be able to see him on the screen once again. seriously, time flies really fast. & it seems faster to me this year. is this a sign that im feeling old? its like in a glimpse of eye my girl is now going 3 years old, its like it was only yesterday i had given birth to her & now she's talking to me: "hey mummy, what you're doing?" as a reminiscence, i re-read my blog & the posts i had wrote in the past. what to say, i had a real good laugh on those good times & really had myself reflected on those bad ones. & ive got myself to realise that life is truly unpredictable. you'll never know whats gonna happen in the next moment. just like when i re-read a post i wrote few years back & i said there: "how i wish my house nearby can have a shopping mall like Jurong Point.", & now Nex is just 2 bus-stops away from my house. LOL. just like i had never expected to be pregnant again, but yet im having BabyBoy in my tummy now. in a year time, he will be right beside me & just like my dear Edlysia, giving me laughters & joy. =) somehow or rather, i missed working. especially the days when i was so busy with my previous job. although its been stressful & i always ended up lacking of sleep or no OFF days, but it was really challenging & had fulfilled my daily life. ever since ive left there,i felt a sense of lost. suddenly im not used to be feeling so free again. haha. ive came to realise i really love that job. =X omg, im mad but i cant deny im missing it now. the only doubt i had for not planning to work back that sort of industry is the lost of time accompanying my loved ones which means alot to me too. i feel that having my child accompanied during their childhood time is rather important as i always believe that kid's childhood can affect their future being, & as a mother, i should also do my part for them, spare a thought of what they really needed & not just about earning more bucks for them. so currently, im kinda lost in direction for my career, well hopefully i can get to figure it out what i want to work as after BabyBoy's arrival. having BabyBoy equivalent to having more responsibilities & more expenses needed thus ive gotta work harder & play lesser, but its worth! now i need a house, need a good stable job with enough time for my family, & need savings!! please remind me, not to spend so much & SAVE! im very bad at this, & i gotta really kick off this super bad habits if not its not gonna be good for my kids. unless ive managed to get a job with pay more than 5k. wahaha~~ if not, its better for me to stay away from spending.

another journey

2011-10-01T03:53:00.001+08:00

ANOTHER JOURNEY.

' another starting point.

after half a year, alright people im back to blog!!!!! =X so many incidents had happened, so god-damn lots that im unable to list it all out to elaborate one by one, thus i shall cut it short. oh well, pictures below are taken on my ROM day, yes im married on the 14 september 2011. officially jobless and 24weeks pregnant with a baby boy now. so i shall be back to my pregnancy posting again from now on hahaha~

and as for my beloved girl edlysia, she is now 2years old going 3 this november 30. she had also grown to a clever, diligent and sweet daughter of mine. =) although she is active and loves to play, but she is still quite an obedient girl. and i loves her so much!

my family and relatives

with pris and her bf

me and hubby

edlysia kissing me

with jowell

with pris and peiling

with levonne and pearlyn

edlysia caught in action - LOL

edlysia, my enen

with edlysia and brother

edlysia and her aunt. LOL

hmm, only manage to upload this much of pictures. will try to add more if possible in future. shall blog more very soon, so stay tuned... =)

2011-04-06T20:02:00.002+08:00

wow~ its 2011.

ive neglected here again for almost half a year. what am i doing?

time really passes so fast. finally got the note of why elder people wishes time to pass slower and the younger hope the time to pass faster~ here are a few pictures for updates.

and yes, its still most about my precious girl - edlysia.

she's getting soooooooooooooooo much cutier now. =)

2010-11-09T01:53:00.002+08:00

爱是什么？

我不知道。

忘不了的是爱吗？放不下是因为爱吗？

为什么要那么复杂？

我只是希望简简单单有一个爱我，我也爱他的人为什么那么难？

为什么爱我的人我偏爱不上，为什么我爱的人偏不爱我，

为什么能彼此能相爱的却又要天地分离，把他从我的世界里消失？

我到底犯了什么？每次都让我感到非常开心后又让我彻底的伤心。

老天你到底要教我什么？

当我学习放开，它却又偏偏跑来。

当我学习去争取，它却逃的远远。

当我学习珍惜，它却离去。

当我学习放弃，它又再次回来。

到底要我怎样？能不能直接一点，我不想再为它而痛苦，我只想要简简单单快乐就好。

就算是一个人，我也甘愿。

2010-10-23T01:22:00.001+08:00

ive been busy with work. so busy that i didnt update my blog, whenever i could i will be outside to release my stress. im sorry ive left this blog for some time. after months, im finally typing something out here, but i did not upload any photos, due to my laggy internet connection. life had been tough these few months, lots of obstacles God had gave me to overcome, to face and to experience. i admit i was nearly going to go insane. loanshark issue, broken trust, girl hospitalised, etc. i realise alot through these times and ive seen the cruelity of realistic of how the world had become. thou, it hurts alot and it hurts deep. but i still never give up in seeking of the hope and warmth in each and everyone of us. life suppose to be beautiful, full with love and happiness, why must it to be turn out this way? just because im being treated this way doesnt mean i had to treat people that way. yes, im disappointed and i do feel angry, at that moment. but till the end of story, i will tell myself, never to give up. i never give up in trusting people even i had been making mistakes and mistakes, ive learnt my mistakes.. i will learnt to be more cautious but i dont know how to not trust anyone. sometimes, i hate myself, i ask myself why? why cant i just be myself? dont bother dont care, because in this reality we had to change to protect ourselves. in my heart, i hate this fact. i dont know if i should change? if i change, i will be someone i hate. if i dont, i will never stop giving trouble and problems not only to me but my loved ones, my family and my girl. ive been struggling, am i really too naive? or just that i dont want to give in to this world? perhaps im too stubborn. although this is how the world flows, but after 25years, im still thinking of whether should i or not to go with the flow? LMAO. insanity of me! perhaps im someone who live in 23000years ago! when there is only nature and living is just so simple. its time to wake up! can anyone enlighten me?

2010-09-23T01:45:00.006+08:00

i will update..

soon!

2010-08-25T00:06:00.004+08:00

oh. damn it!

i will never forget this year's August. its sucks a big time, i was like stepping onto shit throughout this whole month. Bad and unlucky stuffs had been happening non-stop as though its ON SALE. about work, things are not so bad, even though its not very smooth or good but thank god, its still not that bad. in short, im still on the go, on the track of focusing on my career, and i hope i can overcome all obstacles and settle all the unwelcome incidents! please give me a better SEPTEMBER!

2010-07-20T23:57:00.003+08:00

P/S:

i love the nature. i love the view of the rainbow, the waterfall, the sea, etc. i just love them because it makes me feel the real living. it can calms me down and it can cheers me up. that is why i could stare blank at a certain point of time just to let myself to feel the nature. i know it sounds a lil weird but thats how i feel the existence of living. haha~ anyway its just my personal thought. on the other note, i was kinda down for the past period for some emotional issue but now im better and eventually felt more relieved and happier. i did some abnormal acts which i recall back was just so awkward, im sorry if i did pissed anyone out there but yet i still want to thanks you guys for being there and also the one for letting me know the truth. a lil disappointed but at least, i can get over it this so soon. so still, thanks. =)

2010-07-20T02:07:00.004+08:00

its been awhile since my last off day. but its been quite long since i last brought my girl out. so ive decided to bring her out eventhough im actually feeling really very tired recently..

FINALLY MY OFF DAY! WAHAHA~

slept for the whole afternoon today in order to regain my energy. seriously i need even more sleep than this, but i wanted to bring my girl out so eventually ive force myself to wake up. brought her to Bugis to meet Pris and Ze Long for steamboat. and then to Iluma for arcade. she had a real fun day~ after that meet up with Eileen & Co for a short while before heading home.

good times always seems to pass fast~

2010-07-06T22:29:00.008+08:00

泡沫之夏

if you havent watch this Taiwan Drama, i would like to recommend it. its a very nice show~ definitely worth to watch~

the character Ou Chen, makes me remind of him. someone so great~ someone so hard to forget.

if ever, there is someone like him who step into your world, love you with all his life, but you hesistated. just when you had realised your love for him, and just before you decided to tell him the truth to him, he left you alone in this world at that very moment, how will you feel? will you not regret? will you able to forget?

for me, i cant. because he is too wonderful, because he had loved me.

我记得我爱过

电台有人点播播我记得我爱过
后视镜里的我沉默话不多
目送你下车上楼
紧握的蕾丝漂泊你的脸一闪而过知道一些线索
在这个时刻我忍住没有问出口
我记得我爱过哭着要不回那些快乐
怕情绪失控着怕我泪流成河
怕你所有些事勉强不得
我记得我爱过也懂了你感情上的转折
泪湿透了纸鹤爱斑驳了颜色
而我的心被撕裂般拉扯已经难以愈合
你说只是朋友我配合的很难过
你眼神在闪躲在这个时刻还有什么你没说
你低头擦指甲油数着樱花有几多
画面感很温柔我却心算着你几次沉默冰冷对我
我记得我爱过哭着要不会那些快乐
怕情绪失控着怕我泪流成河
怕你所有些事勉强不得
我记得我爱过也懂了你感情上的转折
泪湿透了纸鹤爱斑驳了颜色
而我的心被撕裂般拉扯
我记得我爱过
要不回那些快乐喔~~ 怕情绪失控着
怕我泪流成河怕你所有些事勉强不得
我记得我爱过也疯了
开始自言自语着喔~~
泪湿透了纸鹤爱斑白了颜色
而我的心被撕裂般拉扯已经难以愈合

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOR YOU, ED.
泡沫美人鱼

遥远的童话里有条小小美人鱼
常向往海面上的世界多神秘
就像和你相遇才明白这叫爱情
你的笑容满满包围这我的心
当幸福来临我离开海底
沿途吹风下雨是我不悔的决定
太美丽的爱情让人措手不及
我的爱才放晴你远远离去
太勇敢的爱情为你流血的心
爱像泡沫沉入海底
多幸运遇见你
就算一秒的爱情曾闪闪发亮也让我永难忘记
你的笑容满满包围这我的心

2010-07-06T00:32:00.003+08:00

i will be happy.

even if i may cry, even if i may be exhausted, even if i may felt despair and devastated, even if i may felt hurt, even if i felt weak, even if i felt lonely, even if i felt helpless.. whatever it is, i know till the end, it just will make me stronger.

even if the whole world turn me down, i will still move on.

even if my world turn dark, i will still go on.

even if there is no one else, i will still stay on.

for you, for my girl, & for my loved ones.

because ive promise you, ive promise that no matter what happen, i will still live on.

& i swear i never gonna let you down..

2010-06-29T00:25:00.003+08:00

a deeper inner post.

recently, some friends came to me to talk about their love life. maybe i seems like a consultant regarding this kind of thing, wahaha~ but in fact, i do have my weak points too. many ask me, how i can overcome it? how i can take some things so lightly? i can say, i dont take it lightly at one shot, alot of things needs time to get out, needs to understand to see through, needs belief to be able to let go. if some thing to you is unable to let go, i can for sure you can never let it go because you dont even believe that you could. isnt it? different people view things differently, in fact everyone clearly knows that no one in this world is EXACTLY the same, but everyone often expect people to be the same as they are, especially towards those they loved. because in your inner heart, you hope he/she can be like what you wish he/she can be. & this is human natural. even you might not really mean so, but naturally we are because we had feelings. its never ever able to see your loved ones with another person but yet you are REALLY very happy. you can choose to let he/she go, but sadness is something that definitely will be felt, its just how long it takes for you to really let it go. =) to me, the biggest hurt is from someone who loved me most, so those who dont really worth my love, i can easily let it go. every failed relationship, there is no whoever's fault. there is no right or wrong, there is no who did right who did wrong. if there must be a blame, then both parties is in fault. if he leave me for other girl, maybe on the surface, people will point the finger at him and says he is heartless. but think again, if i am really that good and really suitable enough to hold his heart, he wont fall for someone else either. relationship is not about what you do, how much you love, how much you commit. to me, its about mutual understanding, trust and communication to hold it strong but of cause, there must be feelings involved to. sometimes i fall for someone i dont even know why, sometimes i just like that someone even if he is so god damn sucks to the core, but its just so naturally and uncontrollable. dont ask why it happen because there is no answer to it. when you fall, you just fall. and perhaps you dont even know how you fall. last time, i used to wonder why, i cant figure out and i made myself stressful over this kind of love thing. because i dont know what to do, and i am afraid to do. i am afraid of losing, and i want my dignity, because i am afraid that if i say the real thing out, what will happen.. but now. i dont. because i dont want to live in regret. like means like, cannot avoid. keeping and hiding is just making myself feel terrible but no one knows. and maybe perhaps making that party feels terrible too. what if he is also waiting for your response? isnt it? yes, maybe he is not. but when you confess, when you say, you know the truth. yes, maybe there is sadness, disappointment, awkwardness, however bad it could be, however hurt it can be, but trust me, no pain no gain. thats what i believe. if you never felt hurt, then its harder to let go. even if you dont get what you wish for, but you gain experience, you gain self-improvement, and maybe you gain a friend. =) i believe everyone had their own healing power, healing skill. its born in us, its just how willingly we want to use them. dont say you cant, you are just stubborn. because not till the end of your life, you cant say you cant! you can, its just a matter of when... if you come and tell me you cant let it go, then i will just tell you dont let go then. isnt it? i dont let go easily, but when i really able to let go, seriously the truth is i dont even know how i did it. because it is just so NATURALLY, and you just will realise it just like the very first moment like how NATURALLY you fall for it~ =D

2010-06-23T00:59:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

wahaha reach the quarter of a century - 25 years.

im older now! =(

anyway, im not celebrating my birthday this year as im really busy with work and i am also too tired to plan any celebration either. the month of june is filled up by work, its all about daily work, company's dance lesson for e sales party, and company's training, all at once~in the start of june but thank god, finally get to rest yesterday ( Monday ). although it had been tired but i had a new experience about work and my life had been filled up with a sense of fulfillment and also challenges. now ive reach a new embarkment of the 25~ its really time to strive! c'mon~ haha jiayou~

at a happier note, just had my company's sales party held on the 16 june 2010, and below are some pictures for updates:

gotta end here, tomorrow still have to work~ strive! hope it can be a good good day! =)

2010-06-08T02:13:00.003+08:00

u're my super star.

im ur biggest fan.

never been so shag out ever before, i feel my whole body is tearing away from my soul. lack of sleep, lack of entertainment!!! its so bad, so so bad that i realise i dont even dare to take any picture of myself recently. -.-" i am like a zombie. *cry out loud. seeking out solutions for all my current problems. work, family, friends..... and my company's DnD is getting near, but my dance steps is still like craps, my face is so like shit and my strength and energy is almost going flat........ :( work is lacking back, skills are pending for my improvements in red alerts. everything is just coming all at once and i had to get them all fix up ASAP! i felt so fuck up, temper got easily agitated especially for the stupidness i felt of myself over some thing more emotionally, but i cant deny i got addicted, which this seriously came at the wrong timing! argh~ god please take me out of this~ i really need to peace down, peace down~~ ^^V

2010-06-03T01:20:00.005+08:00

~~DOWN.~~

things are not going as smooth as it was planned, loads are piling up my shoulder and i felt tough. yet, i dont wish to give up, and i dont wish myself to back out. i want to stay on, and stay stronger! this job is seriously a tough one, very challenging. i dont really know how to explain, too many things to learn and i couldnt slow down a bit. i am feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally. but yet, i still feel like going to work. 0.0 a little ridiculous but i really wish that i can overcome it. all i need now is my strength and energy to be back on track. aside work, there is something on my mind recently too. i dont really wanted to think about it, but it just so naturally flew into my mind and stubbornly couldnt be removed. i am not sure about why i am having this feelings but its so true that i am feeling this way. i think i had fall hard for it. should i or should i not? i cant make a decision. i dont know what could i do. to love or be loved. i am doubtful~ LOL. can i just dont be so emo? can i just have a brain that works like a computer? so that i can just all that i need to know and learn for work fast enough to meet their standard and also able to remove some stupid thinking out of my mind. human just cant fight over controlling their feelings. argh~ >,<

on a deeper note, to most of the people out there, i was labeled as naive, stubborn, WEIRD. zzz, in fact, i do not understand why should i follow what they wish that i would become? i never thought i was naive, perhaps the ways i do things seems a little foolish. but its all because i just hope my life can be as simple as it could be. i just want to be myself, i just dont like complicated stuffs and i just dont like misunderstandings and conflicts. why must one demands another to turn into what they wish them to be like? seriously i dont agree, regardless it is between relationship or friendship or even between family, i would still wish they are who they are. yes, there is sure things that i might not be the same with them, there might be just things that i am not happy about, but it all takes mutual understandings and givings, and not by demanding one to change just to suit the other ways of living. i am satisfied with my life, why is it so that had to mean that i had no ambition? i am easy-going, why is it so that had to mean that i am weak? apparently if i choose to differ, why must that had to mean that i am being rebellious or stubborn? i dont know why should that be? if i had a different mindset, it means i am wrong? there is no right or wrong, everyone had its own freedom to choose their ways of thinking. am willing to discuss about how to go with that, but please never demand me to be like that. if i can accept, i will. if i cant, how do you want me to be like one? maybe you can but sorry i cannot. i hate lying, i hate the feel of disguise, i hate not being myself. and this is me. i am understanding, but that does not mean i am a push-over. i dont argue not because i dont dare to, i just find it pointless to say anything if in the first place i am not being trusted. i will argue when i felt that i should, i will stand my point when i felt there is a need, so please do not take me as a weak. i can be really nice, but i can be really nasty too. money is the most powerful things that could affect people. i used to hate it, seriously i do. i hate it so much i spent every single cent i had without thinking about how useful it can. in the past, i can purchase things just because i want to spent, i just want to spent that money away and not because i like that thing or need that thing. i hate money because it changes humanity and thats why it never weighs in me. i spent it like nobody business. i never thought about savings, i never thought about having alot of money. but now i do. although i still spent, but i am trying to change. about finance, yes, i admit i dont know how to think in the past and i know that is my flaw. i know i need to change, and i believe its never too late to do so. i may not want to be the best, be on the top or be the first, but that does not means i did not want to be a better person. i never stop improving myself. i just hope you can understand that i do hope things could be better. and i really hope i can overcome all the unhappy things on hand.

i want miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-28T01:40:00.002+08:00

haywired.

i didnt see it coming, i got shot and my mind is haywired.its like a dream and i cant believe it is real even until now.im happy, its even happier than winning the first prize of the ToTo! sounds kua chang, but then it is so true. yes it made me smile whole day out BUT i had a feeling that perhaps, or maybe i am the one who misunderstood everything. thus, a little clarification is what i hope for.
i can be very open, understanding but towards some things, i can be very traditional. some actions to me can made me misunderstood, you are special to me but if you are not having the same feelings, please dont do that to me because it will only makes me fall deeper. the best thing for me is the truth, & i sincerely hope you speak it even if its not a good one, at least it is the real thing, truth & trust is very important to me even its for friendship. a little clarification is essential to prevent further having misunderstandings or complications thoughts. dont be afraid to hurt me and like me for who i am. no matter what that really is, or what you actually means, i still thank you for what you've done because it did eventually made me feel really very happy.

2010-05-22T22:04:00.005+08:00

SUMMARY OF THOUGHTS

no picture to upload, sorry people im a little lazy to do so lately.

work made my days passed so fast! unknowingly, its been a week since i last updated my blog. days been really busy since i started work, although everyday i felt so tired and also feeling stress over work, but then, suprisingly, i still like going to work! haha sounds like abit crazy, yet its the fucking truth! hmm perhaps i shall elaborate more on this next time. although im busy with work, almost working everyday but i did try to arrange some time for my friends and also my girl. catch up with buddies and friends for supper and drinks after work once or twice a week is seriously enough for me to relax myself. of cause, to spend time with my baobei girl EnEn❤. i had promise myself, no matter how tired i still must spend some time with her, at least an hour a day. and very glad to say is although there are times i felt really shag out but everyday i still manage to achieve the time spent with her! =D my next goal is to bring her out on my OFF day. kinda hard to as recently im always too tired to go out. =( so thats why i hope in future i can do that! stress can make people learn and grow, it really do. although im always on a smiling face, but actually im really very very stress. stress until menstrual also late. =X hardly late for so long! but dont worry people, its impossible to be pregnancy. haha~ for work, there is alot of things on the list waiting for me to buck up, and the time is running short! for family, i need to be better in time management with my girl EnEn❤ . i need to balance my life now!

XOXO

2010-05-15T04:32:00.004+08:00

i felt a little change in me.

it wasnt the same, not anymore. ive move on, yet again. & this is me. i like the feelings of success, not by possessing of something or someone, but over my very own self. i want to be a winner,not by winning others but its about if i can overcome my own self, to win myself. because the strongest enemy of life is no one else but myself. that is why i love it when i felt improvement in myself, i love it when i could finally overcome things i fear, i love it when i succeeded in becoming how i hope i could be.

in my philosophy, everything is about feelings, and for things that happened, its an experience. there are down times when i may fall hard, i may be torn into pieces, i may go crazy, whatever i might be, but i know i will be alright, and i will stand back up, back to one. and im sure of it. it could took me a lifetime to learn, to be what i want to be, or to overcome something, but i know it can be done if only im willing to hold on to life. =) for every single thing i do, it came from the heart. i had no plots, which sometimes cause me to become a silly fool in some other people's eyes. i go with my own ways, thus also makes some people feel that i am a very selfish soul. & if i still stick on to my views, stubborn is what some other people will say about me. LOL. when i do not talk, people say im quiet. when i talk, people say im talkative. "nothing can be perfect, if you are living for others people's view. you can be perfect only if you live for yourself." & thats what i am doing. because in my life, everything start from ME. before i expect from others, i should expect it from myself first. before i grumble over someone, i should reflect myself first. i dont deny i am a deep thinker, i think alot, and i think too much. & thats the thing i should improve. i must take things more lightly. & this shall be my next goal. ^^

and for some personal events, as usual, meet up friends & co. for chill out, steamboat, ktv, billiard, some drinks..etc. what else can you do more for entertainment in Singapore, right? haha well,its actually not about where i am or what i am doing, its about having friends and loved ones around that makes the day goes wonderful. =)

2010-05-12T01:54:00.006+08:00

currently my life is all filled up by work.
my mind is all about

WORK.

tired but gotta keep on going~ gambateh! ^^V

2010-05-06T22:43:00.002+08:00

i need to do better, & better & better.................. x10000000 times!

because i am always not good enough.

there is no such thing call BEST in my dictionary

as i strongly agree that no matter how well you had achieved, there is always still space for improvement. although i do not know where my limits is [or best if i could be someone who have no limits, haha] but at the very least i had to tell myself to do it!

this post is to remind myself that :

I NEED MORE IMPROVEMENTS!!!!

in every single thing of my life.

2010-05-02T18:55:00.002+08:00

its time to strive. i gotta get myself ready soon.

got a job. a career to start!

this time round is a big jump for me, seriously it is. i can even foresee how stress its gonna be like even i had not yet started working! but since i had accepted the challenge, then i shall do my best! there is nothing more happier to had a job you prefer to be like, and get succeeded by becoming how you hope yourself can be. yes, i do sincerely hope one day, i can manage this job well, without doubts and fear over my capabilities and of cause to be more confident in achieving something i had never thought of getting as in the past i never had dream of i could be given the chance of getting this position. i must not back-up.

anyway, recently went out for some fun. my life is kinda more relax lately. met Roy on friday for dinner, and went Ratchada and Nana with Eileen, Rina and co. and yesterday, got to meet up old friends, Guo Wei and Ah Hao. went Ratchada again, and one round of billiard at hougang plaza. fun time~ =) maybe i need to relax myself before the upcoming stress! haha~ and today, spending my time with my girl is also one very happy thing. =D seriously, i wanna thank God for giving me all these good things that had happened on me recently. .

I LOVE YOU LARHS! :D

2010-04-27T07:48:00.003+08:00

something got me thinking a little more emotional today;

a random post on my point of view.

爱情与面包.

if i cant be with someone i truly love,

then yes, i would rather be alone.

i cannot be with just anyone, for whatever sake.

this is me.

猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

2010-04-25T18:55:00.001+08:00

i wanted to upload these earlier, but dont know why blogger keep having error~ so it was eventually delayed.
a short update:

22 April, met Pris at West Mall's Pastamania for a late dinner & then headed down to Boat Quay for a little drinks with Eileen & her friends.

23 April, bring my beloved girl to Eileen's place and then both headed down to Kallang to play this:

my girl love the colourful balls! its a wonderful place for toddlers 6months and above. more better, the price there is very reasonable. for my girl who is 24months and below, it cost only SGD 8 for no limit hours! & adult are FREE! isnt it worth the price? its located at Kallang Leisure Park Level 2, but i forgot whats the place called? =X haha. bring your kids there, all mummies! its a nice place! well, remember to bring socks along ~ (including adults), but can also purchase it there if you want.

home sweet home~

it was indeed one tiring day out. even the lil cutie got so tired~

"ah~alamak!"

"hi, call me Ru Hua~"

lastly,
i ♥ my girl! muacks~

sign off~

2010-04-20T19:04:00.007+08:00

you are the reason of my smile.

anyone at any point of time can be that you. it is that so because it just happens to make me smile, and sometimes it could still happens even if it is just due to one simple tiny-muny thing. its just about how you look at it or view it as. just like when people go 'chey', but i might just 'wow'. thanks to those for making me smile~ because it helps alot especially during the darkest moment. thk'q you & needless to say of cause thk'q my girl EnEn❤ who top this list of mine =D

2010-04-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

140410 - 170410

3 days - 3 nights

edlysia is hospitalised.

but thank God.

she is fine now =D

2010-04-12T03:59:00.002+08:00

restless.

im living in a world 54321 years ago.

money is the most influential invention ever.

because it changed the whole universe, and humanity.

2010-04-06T08:36:00.006+08:00

Laughters makes life wonderful

alright, a few pictures that i came across while surfing the net which makes me LMAO, ROFL, LOL~ whatever it is. sharing it here & hope it brings a good laugh to everyone. =D

Put your paws up! The most innocent look. Thats so cute!

"please dont shoot me, i surrender!"

This is so cartoon! Watch out for this cat, 100% fan of Bruce Lee.
"Wha-Dah!"

Who say dogs cant fly? ; Red bull gives you wings - its true!
"You cant catch me, because i can fly!"

Its not a myth that squirrel loves playing poker!
"Dude, place your card quick!"

Don't mess with the bull, unless you want what this guy had.
"Awwwwww"

Men are not the only ones who loves big boobies.
"wah~~~~~omg"

Not all smile looks beautiful, this gorilla's smile is one example. =X

"hehe"

X O X O

2010-04-03T04:36:00.000+08:00

give myself a big full STOP.

no more dreams.

After today, i will have a brand new day.

I promise, i promise, i promise, that i am gonna wake up tomorrow!

CONFESSION...

its not about the result that really matters, its a way of getting the heavy load out of my chest. at least i felt so much relieved after so many years. its overcoming the fear of someone. & i finally did it. Thank God! :)

2010-04-01T02:03:00.002+08:00

fear, in order to overcome it, is to face it.

for what i am feeling now, i believe there is a reason for it. there is a reason why i am feeling this way, there must be! im going to follow my heart, no matter what fact its going to bring me to, at least i face it. being true to myself, admit whats really inside me, thats what i can do, isnt it?

its April Fool Day. but what i am saying is not a joke. its a secret being reveal. i cant stop thinking about him. i need a big wack on my face! please wake up from your dreams, miss fionne.

2010-03-31T06:09:00.003+08:00

someone took my heart away. i felt dead, because i cant get him out of my life, because i dont bear to, because i just dont know why. he made me questioned myself, he made me felt my heart pounding hard, he made my heart skip a beat, he made me hold my breathe, he made me speechless, he made me go crazy inside.

recently, im very happy. because i made a wish when i was younger and it came true. i should be contented, i really should. but why am i not? why do i have greed? all these time, sometimes i feel like running away, sometimes i feel like cutting it off, but i did not. i thought i had already get over him long ago, but what the fuck is this now? why is the same old feeling came back to me so strongly? i had not been in this state for a long long time, i almost forgot that i used to be one who did crazy stuffs, who can also felt so weak under someone's else presence. towards love, i had always been a strong girl. i can always let it go and i made myself done with it. im always light-hearted and happy-go-lucky with it. but why im feeling so lousy this time? i felt im such a failure because i cant get over. " i wont fall for him again, that is just puppy love " - yes, all of you had guess correctly, i failed my words. laugh at me*, its okay. im not saying out his name, because i am not going to declare. its not that im afraid, in other word, i am not. i just dont want to make him felt embarrassed because this is a public blog. i am a very straight forward girl, i can do crazy things for love, i am someone bold enough to tell a guy, "be my boyfriend". i am that sort of people. i can still love someone even if he doesnt love me, i am not afraid to love, not afraid to get hurt. but i know where i stand, i had no rights to hope for more because i had my girl, i had my responsibilty for her & i also know my world is far from his. so, friends is what i can hope for. i hope i can treat him just like a friend one day, i hope i can ease the fondness & the kind of idolise feelings i had for him one day, so that i wont feel so weak & so torturing like how it is now.

2010-03-25T07:00:00.003+08:00

DANCE

feel the beat.

& move your body with the rhythm.
then get your feet off the ground!

i was surfing on Youtube to watch some MVs & i came upon to saw Show Luo's. i idolise his dance moves, im not sick of watching them on his music videos repeatedly because it really makes me engrossed in it. other than him, the 'her' artist i would love to watch is Elva Hsiao. & maybe Jolin Tsai. alright, i prefered Elva's dance more. ( no offence to Jolin's fans, its my own preference ) well, anyway i love dancing but i did not learn any from any courses ever before. just did em when i participated in those performances during my kindergarten & primary school time & i feel that i really enjoy it. since then, i often dance at home - ask a few friends along, turn on some pop music, self-invented the moves and then dance like crazy girls! yes, those times that i am still a little girl. i remember Spice Girls was so hot and thus we copied them - just nice we had a total of 5 girls. LOL. when i grow older, dancing will be at the clubs! yes, with bunch of friends. although most of the time i dont really dare to dance in the public, but there are times i did get heat up & dance myself out! that was really shiok!! ; the aftermath feeling of my heart beating really fast, the sweat all over my body, omg~ the moment when i move my body, its just like venting out all the frustration inside my soul. wonderful~ =D that is why sometimes when i get really really stress out, i will locked myself in a room with no one else, listen to the mp3 or turn on any music that i have & i rock my whole world out by dancing freely! that is one of my ways to release stress other than singing. =DD maybe you should try it out too if you havent - cause even the cats & the dogs dance! haha~

wow~ watch this! can you? haha i cant even do this moves on the ground.

2010-03-20T09:16:00.000+08:00

MY PRECIOUS GIRL

she is now 15 months old going 16. can crawl, can walk, can climb, can yell, can shout, can talk. but her talkings are still baby talks, "mum-mum, ah bi, bu-yao bu-yao, pah-pah", her pronounciation is still not clear, she likes to follow actions than to repeat words that we spoke to her. just like what others say, monkey see monkey do. now you do that, the next minute she will do the same thing you did. argh~ cute, but naughty too. anyway, ive missed out alot of edlysia's photos during my absence on my blog for the past few months. unable to upload all the pics she had taken earlier on, as it definitely will be too much of a hassle for a lazy bum like me to do that for now. well, my sincere apology for this. on the other note, for a lil satisfaction to those who loved my girl, i randomly posted these few photos of her from the past months. & it starts off with the latest one i took just few days ago when she is singing ; so, enjoys =P

" i wanna sing my song! dont disturb! "

" yeah, i got the mic "

" i love McDonalds just like mummy "

left : " kiss you, muacks " / right : " not fun at all "

left : " *grin* gonna ride it home " / right : " where am i? "

left : " give me some money " / right : " huh? dont have? "

left : " omg! wtf?!?! going crazy " / right : " faster la, i want eat my cake! "

left : " should i change my clothes? " / right : " yes, this is nicer "

left : " what you looking at? " / right : " im going shopping! "

lolx. pardon me for the dialogue, sounded kinda lame.

2010-03-19T07:03:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING

best thing to start off a day, is definitely a smile from someone who can make you felt happy. believe it anot, when you're happy, you tends to feel lucky. =D when you're down, everything is just so suay. & when you're angry, anything can just turn you crazy! so this explains; "how your mood can affects your day". although life is not what we can fully control, but in life, we are still given choices that we can decide to choose the route we want to take at every junction by ourselves. i made choices, sometimes it turns out to be a mistake but till the end i will still appreciate it happened. cause i believe things happened for a reason.

be satisfied. be happy.

how many can really do it? i doubted myself eventually. i cannot be 24/7 happy, but at least i tried to make myself to be. recently, some things happened; there are people who made me disappointed, people who made me impressed. yet after everything, im still back on the track because i sincerely thank you for all that had happened as experiences made me grows. at least i knew i am stronger than before now. setbacks, disppointment, sadness, hurt, no matter how unhappy its gonna be, i will turn it into a strength to make me go on stronger. needless to say, happiness can boost me even higher! it goes the same for me towards love, & relationship. regardless of what had happened in the past, im not gonna give up myself in trusting people who i want to trust and believe in true love still exist. i am a realist but i do believe in miracles. im a stubborn girl, im contradicting and unpredictable. many could not understand me. sometimes i dont understand myself too. laugh* that explains why when im getting restless, i do questioned myself too. but when i get back on the move, i will say, "there is always a reason why i am being like this." its just that the reason had not yet appear in my life. love comes & goes, only the one meant to be will stays. i will find it, i will meet the one, it just a matter of when. it could be the next moment, or 10years down the road or even longer or even till my next life or my next next life but it will never be never ever. i am once loved, i had got my perfect love. that is why i believe there is true love. although we are not fated to be together in this life, but what he had gave me is the most perfect love & care i had ever felt up till now in all my 24 years of life. many asked me why am i so persistent on him, who had already passed away for going 8years now? i am not. they thought i had not yet open my heart to others,[ which in the past i also thought maybe i am ], but i did think about it. after soul-searching, i realised its not so. its not that i had not move on, frankly i did. for everyone i had once loved, i did put my heart to love. i talk about him because he really meant alot to me. & i really hope the one who loved me will loved him. it sounds ridiculous, but if you were me, if you truly can understand what i am saying, you also will not want to remove such a person from your heart. it will be there, deep down in my heart forever till i die. im staying stronger because he gave me the strength to move on. every time i am down, restless, sick & tired, i think of him & his doings, i could made myself happy. because i had promise to move on, live on, happily~ for him. i will love & be loved. thats the only thing i can do for him now for what he had done for me.

he is my God, he is my guardian angel, he is my beliefs.

he is Ed.

he, will be my forever love.

but is not my only love.

because i had loved others before, and in future i will love someone else. i still believe in it. i still do, trust me. because before you know how to love, you need to learn how to trust. =D

2010-03-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

WONDERFUL TIMES

with buddies.
overdued post.
went to Neverland last Sunday. 14 march 10 as mentioned earlier on my previous post with Mq, Seng & Pris. i really must say i missed the good old times! not only the times when i went Sparks with Mq, Seng and Eileen, but also those times at BoatQuay, Mohd Sultan, M.U, & M.O.S [ e one @ Prince Edward Rd ] with other bunch of friends like Berlinda, Jowell, etc... yup, those techno days. cant deny im old, i couldnt dance like how i did in the past. not enough strength i swear! is my stupidness for wearing high heels when i should have wore something flat so that i can really dance. my legs was sooooooooooo painful. just like Seng say before going, he need to paste Salon Pas. LOL. hais why i didnt bring my Yoko Yoko.? keke~ well, its a pity that Eileen couldnt join us that night. but anyway, i did still enjoy! =D
trying to pose e same. LOL

random pics taken that day uploaded in a random order.

time passes really fast. just like a glimpse and i am now heading towards my mid-twenties. OMG! argh~ women are so afraid of ageing. i am one particular soul. we grows and we changed. alot of things had change in my life thus i had changed alot too. towards different purpose on life, my point of views had not been the same as i had in the past. im no longer that 18year old girl that you once knew. yes, ive grow older! haha~ but i want to maintain young at heart!

stay happy always! =DD

2010-03-15T15:12:00.002+08:00

Nabei.

this goes out to YOU.

to that one who loves to post about his self-claim greatness thoughts over at someone else's chat box.

well, first of all i will like to explain that as i am typing out this post, my mood is calm and my mind is clear. i did not type out of insanity nor fury, i posted this because i just want to voice out my comments on the thing that had been happening once again on my blog currently. im not flaring nor fretting over this issue as i understand that i cannot stop these idiotic acts on my blog because it is my decision that i had consent to publicise it for reading and commenting at my own will. for the sake of the majority, i am not switching my blog to private as its not gonna be fair to sacrifice all the rest for that one rotten egg. but that does not mean im accepting his ways of actions. Hell no! his presence is unstoppable, likewise i believe there is no way out that he will scram off from here, thus i am not gonna ask him to leave as its just wasting my breathe upon doing so. true enough, cbox is for others to comment, i have no objection on that. but it will definitely be utterly offending if someone uses my cbox as thou it was his twitter! spamming post like nobody business. which to me, it is a very disrespectful act when that person obviously knew his acts had made many felt annoyed but yet refused to ease and still continue his irritating acts. i can say i am really very displeased over by his obstinate action! i discriminate him not because of his appearance,or about his persistence in expressing his fond of Pris, i despise him merely because of his actions and his intolerant mindset! one self-centered creature on earth! even if i ignore the part of the harassment he did to my friend, Pris, i am still unable to endure such a person to cross in my life. im not trying to manipulate him, it is the fact. this had been on-going for a period of years, despite the fact that i had tried many alternatives, from the nicest way of asking him to stop, to harsh insulting, to the closure of Pris's blog, to the termination of my cbox, to switching my blog private, he did not stop harassing. creating millions of accounts, imposing himself as someone else trying to add us in twitter, facebook, friendster and even to post here. i seriously dont want to curse, please dont make me do that. whatever the devotion is all about, it will makes no difference to my affirmation of having my own choice of friends or even acquaintance thus that means its impossible that such a kind of person will get involve in my life ever. and im sure that Pris stands the same line as me. i had been wondering why he loves to post over at someone's cbox where twitter had already been created just so perfectly for people like him? what came to me was he wanted attention, perhaps he needs attention. isnt it? it seems to me those spammings was just about wanting to get a reply. oh jolly well, since he yearn so much for publicity, maybe i shall oblige his wish. perhaps i should broadcast about him wherever & whenever i could. hard to say, it might be his motive? i should had pray, hopefully that he can wake up from his senses and stop all the insanity and leave.

anyway, yet again

KM . KENNY MOEY.

i knew you are not gonna listen, but i will still feel like yelling this to you:

STFU!

2010-03-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

Friends For A Decade

Pris came over to my house before we headed out to Bugis on Friday.

Took Bus 80, and that bus was kinda cool. i believe some of you might have already travelled with that before, but it was definitely my first time on board sucha indifferent kind of SBS Transit Bus.

oh well, im saying the Nokia Music Bus!!!

which is PINK

& purple.

im just like a small kid who goes "omg, what's this?" haha, & "wah~"

=.=
anyway, the journey was boring because thou its so-called music bus. but the songs that are being played, its totally seems to be mute. cant hear it any clearer! i might as well listen to my mp3.

reach Bugis, & we went for steamboat.

yummy~~~~~~~

after that, went KTV. meet up Seng & Mq too.
its been a damn long time since i last sang with them.
thinking back, we've been friends for more than a decade. WOW~
although we aint very close during secondary school, but we were classmates since Sec One.
so its going 12 years of friendship. me, eileen, mq and seng.
haha, seng was asking me to go for the Canto Sparks Reunion Party @ Neverland Disco this coming Sunday, which is apparently tomorrow, to have some flash-back of the days when we used to go clubbing when we are 16. tempted! so most probably i'll be heading down with them. =D
Pris & Me

Mq, Seng, Me

after ktv, went over Iluma for a short walk. that was then, i realise about the Level 7 of Iluma.

im sorry, i knew im one KUKU.

( but im not the only one =X )

but that was my first time to know there was a LEVEL 7! ive been to Iluma, for movie for food. but im unaware that there is a "Level 7" where there is arcade and lan and a place to chill & dine.
anyway, it doesnt matters.

STOP HERE,

with a pose in the ...... LADIES.

CHEEROS!

2010-03-08T18:23:00.004+08:00

REMINISCE OF THE OLD SCHOOL DAYS

to my former Maths Teacher, of Beatty Sec,

Mr Ng T.C & his family.

his departure is a sudden shock to many due to his age, i believe those who've heard about the news will have the first reaction just like mine, huh omg. really? its a saddening news for me although i wasnt at all, close with him. i had never bother about school's stuff ever since ive step out of that building. all these years, i had never ever step back there. i wasnt a good student, my existence in school was just a name on the attendance book. nothing else i admit. the staffs that ive spoken with most of my time is the discipline mistress and the principal. i am not that notorious as it seems, its just that i had never really cared about studies and school in those days. its like none of my business kind of things to me back then. put aside of my negligence, i am still one kind soul okays. =X well, at least i know where my fault is, right?. recalling back the past, school days is still the best moment of my life. those days when we laugh out loud whenever we wanted, tease the teachers who put their heart and soul to make us learn, now as to think about it, its kinda shame for us who did those stupid acts. maybe thats how school life is all about, isnt it? to me, without those fun and laughters, memories will not be that wonderful. Mr Ng, to me, is a complete stranger. seriously, i dont remember of me talking to him ever in my whole secondary school life other than being called up by him for collecting of my test papers or some sort. although he teaches my class Maths during my Sec 4 days,but i didnt really listen in class, thus i am not sure how well he had taught us. i confess i had never study in those days. i never did. i often sleep in class, thats what i usually do. my impression of him is, he is a strict teacher but he is not that bad, he had loud voice but he had his sentimental side. i remember once he walk by and knock on my desk when i fall asleep during his class, he didnt yell the whole world out of it in class to embarass me. haish. yet again, after all the reminsce, the news flew right back on my mind now. and im commiserated over his departure and maybe i sympathize about death, & the feeling of losing loved ones. how fragile is life. how unpredictable it can be. its a pity~ that is why we'll always say to one another, cherish what you had now before its gone.

2010-03-07T15:43:00.000+08:00

out of a sudden thought

march started silently, im so unaware about its arrival till i chanced upon it that day, which is few days ago. needless to say, this prove that i had been in my kuku-world for a very long time. having myself hidden in my thick shell this long and i believe its time to crawl out to let the scorching sun burn my pale white face. the start of march, impulsiveness had ruled me out of my clear mind. no certification to prove but thats what i had believe. slight remorseful feeling still lingers but i am sure i can get it off soon or sooner. anyway, its past. so it goes to the past-tense. *fleew~ & back off. right ahead of me now is another long route. misty, but i still had to walk it out, no other choice, isnt it? things dont fall from the sky, i always told myself that. but yet, i dont seem like im trusting my old words. easier said than done. im on 2 hands for that. im always being affected easily, which often makes me stand still without any strength to move forward eventhough you can still hear me shouting: 'chiong ar." LOL. every step i took now seems so heavy, why? im doubtful. not about anyone but my own self.

"what the fuck i had been doing? wake up!!!!!"

ive said this to myself millions, billions of times.

but it seems that its not effective at all.

darn that. damn me.

that is the reason im still wondering the authentic of my own words. the uncertainty is still on a high rate. my changeable mood, my unstable emotion seems like operating my soul. lots of people had been wanting to slam my head or bang my face to the wall to make me wake up, but its not motivating me at all. why? i felt like a walking zombie with dead emotion, numb. harsh criticism, sarcastic judgements, nags, kind persuasions, made no improvements on me. although there is no definition of right and wrong in life.

but this is not the correct way of living. i knew, but i just dont know why im being like this.

2010-03-04T07:33:00.000+08:00

Fionne & Edlysia 2010

overdue.

but better than never. =P

just a lil.

moody is my mood. emotion is my weak.

i cant, i couldnt, i could not, ever had successfully controlled my emotion or in another word for it is feelings?. regardless of anything, i just cant force myself to overcome that barrier. it strikes me without notice, without any pre-symptom, it just hit me. that is why when im really sad, i can never be able to control my tears from dropping, even if i could, you can still see my watery eyes.

perhaps that is a CANCER character.

the most emotional zodiac sign. =[

a contradicting personality.

i longed for independence. but im unwilling to get out, i cant bear to.

i longed for partnership. but sometimes i wish so much i can be alone.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

shyt, im also confused about my own self.

2010-03-02T05:45:00.003+08:00

half-way.

slept but woke up around 4am plus. was feeling bored thats why started to edit my posts. sadly, it makes me felt even worse. =.= yes im still editing my blog post. those previous posts which the font colour are all unable to see, im trying my best to change them and its so ..........haha, editing one post at a time is a hassle. why am i blogging with so many stupid colours and patterns in the past! =.= i shall stop editing for more now, continue another time cause its killing my nerves.argh. FULL STOP.

-----------------------------------------------------

im starting to believe in miracles. =D

2010-02-22T07:16:00.003+08:00

back to land.

its been 3 fucking long years since i went back to grandpa's place for CNY. i missed there so much. i still vividly remember i did went to KL during these 3 years either alone or with my friends but was not staying over at my grandpa's place at Kepong Ulu, so this time round the feelings of going back to a familiar place is different from my last few trips, it is just so happy and excited. =D headed off to that place i loved on 13 february for my wonderful Chinese New Year and just came back on 21 february.

what can i say?

my heart still lingers at there.

although days over there are not soooo that exciting which makes me want to stay, and im actually doing nothing much except for eat and sleep, is just gamble - mahjong/poker or just went rounding with my uncle. but i still love there. i love the big family there, i love the environment there, i love the food there and i love the people there. sorry to say that, its not that i totally dislike here but i just prefer there more. only if my friends can migrate there too, then there will be the perfect place for me. wahaha~

sad to say, i didnt snap much pictures! its like as if i didnt bring my camera! but i did. so its damn myself. i should have took pictures with my cousins, relatives but i totally forgot!

damn shit right?

arghhh. too indulged in enjoying myself, relaxing myself that i totally forgot to snap a pic for memories. think again now i feel like to strangle myself again**

alright, stfu, back to topic.

sometimes i really wonder why i love there so that much? i was born here, live here, stay here. yet my heart is there. i love the lifestyle over there. yes, there there there!. should i just migrate? but....... i got no friends there. =( so maybe thats the reason why i am still here. haha.

i teared when i was coming back on the train. its always like that since i was young. the feelings is really terrible but yet im puzzled. i dont know why. it always took me days or weeks to get myself back to this land again. oh, c'mon. im old enough. sometimes i felt im sucha kid, its not as thou i can never go back there, true. but why i cried? can somebody explain to me so that i can feel better?

LOL.

i hate this part. i hate the feeling of the aftermath of this trip.

no, should say is for the every trip i went there.

the returning is like a departure from my happiness. =(

this really sucks.

i hope i get back real soon. back to life please, miss!

2010-02-09T06:25:00.000+08:00

REVIVED.

recarnated.

im back after months of absence with my blog. finally change my blogskin - im lazy to do all the editing so that causes the delay. i had not yet edit the font colour of my previous posts thou.

pardon me for that if you cant see those posts as my previous blogskin was in black.

haha, so......... you know lah.

anyway its gonna start from fresh again.

first jolly news to update was that my girl is now 14months old! haha. had know how to walk, mumble and have 8 toothies. =D i shall upload her pics when i have time. =X

shall end first cause im freaking tired after few nights of reviving this blog.

keke~nights

`experience makes us grow. we go through different stages
& we gets to know more as life goes on.
we will face set-backs as well as success.
but as long as we move on, life is just experiences that made
us strong.
`tasting the sweet, the bitter, the pain,
the sorrow, the sour, the happiness,
the whatever whatever, is a lifetime lesson.

10mths

2009-09-30T21:40:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 10 MONTHS TO BABY EDLYSIA

STAY HAPPY AND PRETTY MY LIL GIRL =D

will upload more of her pics soon. stay tuned for updates.

nowadays very busy with work work and still its work.

of cause busy with taking care my edlysia too.haha~

transfered to a different department in my current job,

so now my job scope is totally different from previous.

lots of things is still awaiting for me to learn.

hopefully i can manage, must endure =D

so happy that pay got higher

BUT.

got more $$ so that means

ALSO will have more work loads and stress!!!!

=.=

there's always a price to pay.

~~nothing~~ ,sorry, its:

not ALL things is free.

HAHAHAHA

=.=

2009-09-21T18:42:00.002+08:00

i understand and i do believe what you say.

i can feel the pain and hurt not just in you but myself too.

but im sorry i really think i cant make myself to continue.

im happy enough to know you wont want to end.

im really happy that you say everything out.

thanks for yesterday.

i really dont know what to do.

i really believe should just end it.

though i am also doubtful if i can really do it.

face it? avoid it? admit it? deny it?

somebody teach me.

if only one can control its feelings.

things can be sooo much more easier.

>,<

2009-08-29T18:26:00.010+08:00

Okay, im just LAZY to blog.

every OFF day is still very tiring. -.-

busy with work and baby edlysia; 24hours a day is not enough!

there is sooo MUCH things i wanna do but tied down due to no time.

yes its not many things. but SO MUCH things.

what to do? life still had to move on, hopefully when baby edlysia grows older,

i can have more FREE time. ;)

well, for the time being, lets these peeks do the talkings =D

randomly posted.

"hehe i got mum's psp!"

"i know you're snapping me ya"

"faster take lah, my mouth is cramping!"

"lol, mummy eating my hair"

"there got handsome guy to see lah."

"im e small ninja! =X"

"emo-ing, please dont take anymore pics"

"drink water also want to take. -.-"

"=P"

"is my hair messy?"

"happy lah, finally going

out!"

"im sleepy already..."

"huh?"

"hmm.. yum yum"

"acting shy.. lol"

"i kick you ah"

"decent one, no smile"

"oh what happen?!?!"

"hehehe, peek-a-boo"

"push it in... faster eat"

"my dora lappy..."

"^^"

"ah! why you snap me from behind?!?!"

"roar!!!! im the dinosaur!"

--the end--

jb

2009-08-16T20:35:00.009+08:00

nightout.

went Johor Bahru (JB) last monday night at a very 'last minute' decision.

LOL.

was msn-ing with Pris and thinking where to go......

and out of suprise, we decided to go JB to look for Pei Ling!!!

leave home for JB at 11pm! reach JB around 12:30am. -,-

on the causeway link bus towards JB!

can we say where we shot this? =X

awaiting PL and boyfriend to come fetch us

after they reach, we went to change our SGD to RINGGIT.

and headed to De'Stulang for supper.

well, i must say, the food there wasnt very cheap.

the price compare to Singapore is just slightly cheaper.

these 3 plates is already about RM50+. cheap?

i dont think so, that fish is already RM24! zzz

in PL's boyfriend car

& some farnie poise at the seaside!

oh~~~ xu chun mei style!

after makan, headed to Peiling and boyfriend's apartment at Tampoi.

spot PL!?

ive realised there's quite alot of Singaporean staying there as there is quite a few of SG car.

reached PL's place and actually planned to go swim..

get prepared and heading down with this OVER-SIZED slipper of not mine.

but in the end, we came right back up as the swimming pool area is kinda eerie.

not really due to no lights but..............

we just felt that the area is really very spooky. =X

JOLLY SHANDY on the BENCH!

smoking at the balcony~ who's finger?

chatted awhile in PL's cosy bedroom and slept...

next morning, its SWIMMING TIME!

with our super shag look.

playing the swing....

in bikini......

back to PL's house and get prepared to go out again. =D

after doll-up its different! hahaa~

can you spot the big and the small?

on the way for FOOD!

had a round-about before we had our lunch at Huang Hou.

went Holiday Plaza after lunch. shop around....

and i went to do manicure~ nice ambience. nice service. but not very good skill...

well its cheap to do manicure in JB. only RM24.. and express is just RM12.
had our dinner at Wong Kok Char Chang Ting.. had their baked rice...
my camera went low batt, so didnt take anymore pictures.
bought some PSP games and also contact lens.
for the lens, its just so so cheap in JB.

freshlook colourblends for just RM110-3pairs!
PL and Pris had their 1st-time wearing the contact lens. as a newbie, they learnt quite fast!
after shopping, its already 8pm plus, cabbed back to PL's apartment and waited for her boyfriend to fetch us back to custom.
there are some delays due to the traffic, in the end we reached Singapore nearly 12am!
cabbed home from Kranji MRT, home sweet home at 12am plus.
tired day, but an enjoyable trip!!!!!!
im soooo happy thou i do missed edlysia too! =D

beloved ger

2009-08-14T15:16:00.000+08:00

alright, its still edlysia. and her updated pics.

she can now bite! thou its just 4 tiny muiney teeths but its so painful!

took thes pics while i was preparing to go JB to stay overnight at Peiling's house last monday night.

"this is my water ah, dont try to snatch from me!!!"

this pic looks idiotic =X

but actually she was trying to use her head to feel the wall.

turning her head left and right with this kind of look!

LOL.

and here is one decent and one ' siao char bo' look. =P

lastly,
MUMMY LOVE YOU, EDLYSIA =DD

edlysia's photos

2009-08-08T21:10:00.006+08:00

my life is all about her :

EDLYSIA GOH

is now 8months old! ^^

how time flies, my cheeky girl is superb active, talkative and sweet!

loves to smile and that is my happiness >,<

sick n tired

2009-07-29T02:34:00.003+08:00

sick sick sick

im sick, edlysia is sick too!

for the past weeks, yes its weeks! we've been sick.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

flu, fever, headache. comes and goes. making me nuts and super tired.

dont have the energy i need to have anymore. i think i really need a real good rest.

for the past few months, been working and after work had to take care of baby edlysia.

the amount of sleep per day is less than 6hours.

and even if i get my off on weekends, i still have to take care my super-active girl.

thus, getting a good rest is so hard. i miss those days when i can get real good sleep!

recently, as me and edlysia had been sick. im really shag out this time.

took lots of unpaid leave as i am unable to go to work.

i was thinking of quiting my current job. seriously, its not really because its busy.

somehow i can say i am quite okay with the work. thou, there is also times i do get really pissed out with it. the reason why :

maybe perhaps because of the pay?

many tells me that my pay was too low, and i cant survive with that forever.

well, true. as for the past 3 months, im saving like hell but still its not enough!

or maybe perhaps of some people?

i dont really like politics.

and i am a very straight-forward person. i dont know how long can i tolerate those people that i dont really like!

i cant treat people nice if i dont really like them for very long, i am that type of person who will show it directly on my face that YES I DISLIKE YOU!

duh. really dont know what to do. perhaps office job is not my cup of tea.

hypocrites - so many. sometimes you just cant tell who they really are behind that smiling face.

argh.sianx. sibei sianx. im so in doubt.

kinda lost. im so tired and stressed recently.

i want a break!

maybe i should just fuck care anybody and just QUIT.

why should i bother about others????????????

maybe i should just bother about my ownself first.

im back

2009-07-14T02:02:00.003+08:00

first of all, yes people, im back! =D

got my new lappy.

and im soooo happy.

secondly, i had updated my blog profile and also link up all! =D

if you are being missed out, do tag me again for links ya.

shall not update much on my stuffs as basically, nothing much to blog.

for the past weeks, mostly im working and staying home looking after edlysia.

here are the photos:

cheeky edlysia and mummy

eating her biscuit. she loves to eat.

yum yummmm

munchinggg..

brought her to Vivocity on sunday.

walk and shop around. bought her a lappy too. keke.

lappy for kids. thou she is only 7 months, but she love that so much!

she had a wonderful and happy day that day. ;)

tada! my lil princess edlysia =D

edlysia n janelle

2009-06-28T03:28:00.005+08:00

EDLYSIA AND JANELLE =D

supposingly roy want to come visit baby edlysia

but in the end cant, cause i went over to Eileen's place

as its been ages since our girls last met each other.

LOL.

so i brought Edlysia over to see her god-jie jie.

Janelle is already 1 year 1 month plus!

and she can even walk already!

haha. whereas my little sweetie is still learning to crawl.

but she can sit lah =)

below are the pics taken when they both playing with the remote:

both 'LOVE' the remote controller!

so cute right? =D

and..

for my birthday.

aha.

thanks for all those who had wished me thru sms, calls, facebook, friendster.

THANKSSSSS!

hmm, shall not elaborate how i celebrated.

-secret-

LOL.

on Monday, brought family out to treat them dinner for my birthday.

before heading out for dinner

and on the actual day. 23 june.

HAD TO WORK.

and at a new environment.

haha. so i did not celebrate on that day as i am too tired after work.

keke~

----------------------------------------

alright, i shall end here with baby edlysia & mummy - me.

cheeros!

will update more when i got my new lappy.

please tolerate for my super late and short updates

maybe for the time being, i will post once in 2 weeks bah. =X

SORRY SORRY.

colleagues

2009-06-20T03:05:00.001+08:00

PHOTOS WITH MY COLLEAGUES.

I WILL MISS THEM. =(

cant really say out what happen here, too long-winded.

in short, i will be working at another company on 23june.

so i am not working with them anymore. =(

but i will miss them, enjoy the times working together ya! =D

with eileen

with yiqing.

had our LIFA company dinner at Xiao Hong Lou - East Coast Park

on friday 19 june 2009

thou i just joined them in 17 apr.

but i still missed them.

LOL.

=)

2009-06-14T12:27:00.004+08:00

celebrated Pris Birthday on 10th June.

meet up with Pris, Siew Mummy and PeiLing at Marina Square.

had dinner at Dian Xiao Er.

i realise i had been blogging lesser and lesser.

but i believe next month which is July onwards i could blog more.

haha~

so stay tuned.

cause recently i dont get much time to online.

so pathetic till i cant even have time for those links, tags..
even at this moment that i am blogging and uploading pics, im still in a rush!

LOL.

cause i am using my brother's computer.

its so hard to ask them let me use the com.

well, dont really know what to update. everything is still as usual ba.

hmm..changing job soon. not because i want to quit.

its just that my company is going to bb ler. sad. =(

anyway, for those who ask me how i slim back to my original weight,

my answer is actually i also dont know. in fact i NEVER did anything.

i didnt go for ANY massage or what. i didnt wrap anything on my tummy too.

so i also dont know how to tell you what i did. perhaps its because my family are all skinny de.

or is it due to because i am a smoker? hmm =X. well, seriously i am not sure.

=D

2009-05-31T22:01:00.005+08:00

APOLOGY FOR MY SUPER LATE UPDATES.

thanks ppl for the tags. and the links request i will update shortly.

so no worries... i will link u all up =D

alright i dont know how to start, zzz. well okay, its been nearly 2 weeks i did not post.

so for the past weeks, just as usual went out with friends like:

Pris, Kevin, Mq and Seng.

either for ktv, billiard, movie, or went for food...

watched The Uninvited last last week i think, not very nice.

then NATM 2 last night!

well, i can say i will rate 4/5! for this movie. hilarious! just like episode 1.

for me, not much disappointment, and i enjoy it through out the show.

worth watching. i love the Einstein(s) part. LMAO!

you guys should really go catch this show!!!!

well, shall not elaborate on my stuffs. it not very important thou.

cause my BABY EDLYSIA is the star in my blog =D

just brought baby edlysia to Punggol Plaza with Pris.

wanted to bring her there for the baby swimming.

it was her FIRST time after 6 MONTHS!

omg, im such a bad mother...

thought she will like it as she love bathing at home

BUT

NONONONONONO.

she cried almost 3/4 of the time and eventually did not swim at all.

the time in the water totally i think its less than 5 mins.

the rest of the time i was carrying her, patting her. comforting her.

she started to feel scared when the lady start to do massaging for her.

and then started to cry out loud when they try to put the float around her neck.

so no choice, i had to carry her out of the water. and try to calm her first.

and this how she cry !

freaking scared of the 2 lady.......

not really because of the water but the place or the atmosphere i think.

later on i try to put her in the water all by myself.

starting she is getting okay.... and eventually started to play a little..

so they give her sit this instead.

but this is only for like 1 minute.

as when the lady start trying to hold her, she cry again.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

in the end, the lady asked us to go back next time.

but she still charged me HALF the price. which is $14.

felt so wasted..... thou its already half price

but the time she is in the water is only for like for 5mins the most?

haix. my girl is starting to afraid of strangers ler =(

after that went ntuc to buy some baby food for her.

she is still trembling when i carry her, felt so heartpain.

so went to buy her 'Jing Feng Shan'.

she fall asleep while we are shopping for her food.

cabbed back home.

back home, she is totally like another person..

jumping, yelling...

...........................

shall just end here.

below are some of her post photos:

and this is a recall of her look on her DAY 1!

what a BIG different. isnt it?

photos

2009-05-17T17:27:00.005+08:00

BABY EDLYSIA AND MUMMY =D

her most recent photos.
i dont know why she just loves scratching her ears.

recently she been having watery poo poo. isit because she's growing teeth?
her big teeth on her right is growing out.
seriously i dont know why she grow big teeth instead of front teeth.
but they say its okay. as long she got grow teeth.
LOL.
well.........
she also loves to sit in her walker so she can sprint like nobody business!
she can jump up and down and walk like a crazy kangeroo =X !

buay tahan..
haha, she loves to smile. and thats what i loved most!

what a happy sweetie =)

haix, but somehow she is slimer EXCEPT her thighs and face..

not as chubby like last time... due to lack of appetite. why???

hmm btw, i too have slim back down to original

but with a small lump of fats still lingers at the tummy.

wearing back pre-pregnancy clothes. i should be happy..

but people say i look nicer when i look FATTER abit

just like how im during the first few months after birth. =(
argh. can i grow back fat?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

anyway shall end here with my baby edlysia's pose.

cheeros people! ;)

updates

2009-05-17T04:07:00.006+08:00

sorry for late updates due to not able to online much.

still felt sad about losing baby edlysia's photos.

11 may 09, mummy bring baby edlysia for her injection as i went for work.

didnt get her height measured, and her weight was 6.6kg.

quite light isnt it? hmm. anyway, she is now naughtier.

CANNOT be left alone. she will cry out loud.

i only left her in a walker just now to the toilet for less than 30 secs.

and she yelled! OMG. she can now run about freely in her walker.

many says she's witty and understands what we are saying.

yup, i do agrees. =D but still, i think that her smile is still the best thing ever!

her smile can melts all my sorrow.

makes me forgets all the stress and eliminates unhappiness.

she's my girl, and the best gift heaven had gave me.

i will never give up her for ANYONE. this is for sure.

i never regret to have her. and if time turns back, i will still do the same thing.

well, belated HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all mothers.

celebrated mum's birthday too on Mother's Day.

as usual, at Batok's CC the KTV lounge.

together with the uncles and aunties there.

14 may 09

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY

to eileen's girl BABY JANELLE. =D

15 may 09.

mum's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!

although had celebrated on sunday,

but i think actual day also must have something.

so i bought a cake for her after work. =D

past few weeks, busy with work of cause.

but still, did went out for my leisure. went with Mq and Seng for Kbox.

Met Kevin, watched movies, go rounding, billiard and kbox etc.

Met Pris and Pl too. Days are more busier and tired.

hmm..... will upload baby edlysia's photos soon.

i know its been a very long time that i didnt post her pics here.

i will take some as soon as possible and upload it ya. stay tuned. =D

p.s: HE sucks. LOL. he got an arrogant face. fcuk up face =X.

hate it hate it!

dont want to say out much why, it will makes me boils again. not worth!

bad news

2009-05-09T11:08:00.003+08:00

bad news.

computer down. dead. died.

cant online but that is ok.

BUT

all photos i stored inside that computer is GONE!!!!!!!!!!

my baby edlysia's photos!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHh

what fuck? super bad mood. damn sad. but cant do anything.

this is SHIT!

sianx

2009-05-01T17:35:00.004+08:00

want to upload some baby edlysia's pics

but i dont know why cant.

ZZZZZZZZZ

FCUK LAH.

boring mood.

LABOUR DAY, OFF DAY, HOLIDAY.

so what. it makes no different to me.

i still cannot rest! but yet still kanna being nag nag naggggg.

wah lan, spoil my mood only!

i dont need any praise, i dont need any encouragement.

i just want PEACE. just stop saying, everything will be so FINE.

okay!

you sick, i help you do things, they sit and fcuk.

nevermind. still say me!

you say you are not super woman then you think i am meh?!

who's the one who never put herself to others' people shoes?

why always me?! and not those TWO ass.

i understand your situation and seriously i dont mind helping you.

but can just stop putting THEIR fault as mine?

i DID NOT ask them to be like that.

i need a lappy of my own!

i need to start saving money!

& i must really DO IT.

must must must!

----------------------------

monday

2009-04-27T21:41:00.003+08:00

its monday. work again!

lol. why is OFF days seems to pass so fast?

haha. but quite okay lah. cause this week only work 4days =D

recently, simply doing nothing at work. so boring can! cannot take it!

hopefully i can get more and more and more job scope,

so i can be more busy and busy and busy till like nobody business.

;)

saturday night went cineleisure to watch movie with kevin.

watched a thriller, The International.

well, its not thrilling at all! zzzz.

nothing amazed me or makes me curious to keep on watchng.

its like somehow i can just predict what is gonna happen next moment.

almost wanted to sleep during that 2 hours or so.

busy

2009-04-24T22:52:00.005+08:00

only away for few days. and wow, what a mess!

been busy everyday.

tired also, lack of sleep. 6am plus woke, 1am plus sleep and its daily!

LOL

tue - work till 6pm plus, went to meet eileen @ bugis. had sakae. eileen came my house overnight. reach home at 10pm plus. play with baby edlysia, chat with eileen. sleep at 1am plus.

wed - work till 6pm plus, meet eileen again to bugis for steamboat. reach home at 10pm. played with baby edlysia, accompanying her to sleep, 11pm meet kevin go hougang plaza play billiard. sleep at 2am plus.

thur - end work at 6pm plus, down to dad shop @ batok as baby edlysia was at there. Pris and PeiLing was there to see baby edlysia. had Mac. wait for dad to close shop, reached home 10pm plus. sleep around 1am plus.

today - end work meet eileen @ plaza singapura. had cafe cartel. went carrefour shop for some baby toys. cabbed home. just back home at 10pm plus. and FINALLY can online to check my blog.

and its OMG!

due to that idiotic, asshole, SELF-CENTERED km, or keongsigg or whatever shit that is.

hey! cut the fuck off ALL your craps.

do you know there is something call DISTURBANCE and NUISANCE?

and do you know WHY in singapore there is such LAW called PUBLIC NUISANCE?

its ALL because of got such people like YOU!

oh yah, you got the rights for anything,

but you are creating disturbance in MY blog, and to my readers!

and you INSISTED that its not wrong to continue tagging.

hmm, yah. cause you are one SELF-CENTERED THICK-SKINNED person.

i have deleted your tags whenever i online, and you can still buay paiseh keep tagging.

no wonder people despise you

because in the first place, you dont even know how to RESPECT others!

sorry, please get this: i and you is totally different.

dont put the same noun in different situation.

dont link it together.

somemore, your words!

it totally DONT MAKE ANY SENSE!

so just shut up!

STOP trying to get attention here, since you are a blogger,

BLOG in YOUR BLOG for YOUR COMMENTS!

ad NOT to TAG on an UNWELCOMED tagboard.

for god's sake, your english sucks.

lastly, thanks readers and friends for your encouragements!!!

and CONGRATS to IRIS for your new born baby girl!!

do take care =)

2nd day of work

2009-04-20T22:52:00.005+08:00

2ND DAY.

took bus to work today.

and ive realise my working place to so god damn near.

less than 5 bus stop away from my house only.

well, things goes smoothly, i mean my work.

happy

2009-04-18T21:02:00.007+08:00

so far so good.

went for work on friday morning.

first day of work, was so excited.

so far things are going well.

but monday, i will have to handle everything alone

as the recep had her last day on friday. =(

LOL.

off work nearly at 7pm as the recep got lots of stuff to pass over to me.

and the job scope now for me is only a quarter of

what i am supposed to do if i become a permanent staff!

haha, gonna be very busy but i like it! =D

i love being busy during work so i wont get bored.

head over to West Mall to meet Pris for dinner.

was so hungry so i cabbed down. and we had Swensen.

chat about work, and also about our past job at Grassland.

missed those times somehow =)

wait for daddy to fetch me home after they off work.

reached home around 10plus. so sleepy as i woke at 6am earlier on.

but still have to take care baby edlysia. okay lah, luckily weekends im OFF.

rest at home today with baby edlysia. kinda bored but tired to go out too.

job

2009-04-16T21:46:00.002+08:00

woooohhh i got a job!

i am so happy now.

kinda lucky, posted my resume on JobsMart yesterday.

didnt apply for any job yet but got a call from an agent offering me a job!

no need to go for interview somemore, but had to start work immediately.

position: admin cum recep. location: tai seng ave.

well, quite near my house =D

am not so confident now if i am able to handle the job.

first of all, i am not really sure about the job scope and somemore i dont even had been there before!

their min requirement is O'level. yep, i took O's. but i got no certificate. =(

they were asking me to bring it tomorrow during work but i told them i dont have it.

thou they say its okay, i just go and see how it works but i still felt so.............

what if i get sack on my first day due to no certificate?

LOL...

so weird now, after a long absence of not working, now suddenly had to work.

can i handle?? haha. i will miss my baby edlysia!

yar, talk about this, the KKH still havent find me an infant care! didnt even reply me!

@#%#$%$@$@#

so mum will have to bring baby edlysia to dad shop for the time being.

no cot or sarong to sleep there, only pram. poor girl =(

luckily my job is 5days based. still can accompany baby edlysia on weekends. =D

happy lah, and anxious now! pray hard for me for tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

..

2009-04-13T20:00:00.004+08:00

yesterday night rush down to rescue somebody stuck in expressway.

LOL

doesnt really know how to buy petrol, luckily the cabbie was nice to help me.

didnt know must buy container, and must leave down particulars when purchasing petrol.

so kuku.

but the most kuku one is the one stuck in the deserted TPE - mr kevin.

whahaha.

you are lucky to have a friend like me. if not you can spend your night there with your SP.

------------------------------------------------------------------

recently, dreamt of him. how i wish he is still here with me.

time flies but memories still lingers.

arghhhhhhh, i miss u, ed.

some beautifully imperfection can be the most perfect thing to you.

reflection

2009-04-12T13:51:00.000+08:00

THE REASON.

note

2009-04-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

just a little note.

complication, depends on how you see it as.

it might be just a very simple feeling.

ASK, if you are in doubt.

as you will not know what others are really thinking about.

dont think about what it might be, what it could be.

if it means alot to you, do ASK for the answer.

cheeros

2009-04-08T05:06:00.006+08:00

MY SWEET GIRL.

oh well, monday bring bb edlysia for her jab at AMK polyclinic.

didnt get to see any doctor that day =(

but the nurse told me that YES she's growing teeth.

so THATS really teeth. gosh, so abnormally somehow. =

they only weigh her, now she's 6.1kg.

so i think i shall measure her height and head circumference myself =)

will update it soon.

she got her new PINK walker today.

yeah, will be putting her in that when she's going 5 months.

-------------------------------------------------------

went to work earlier on at dad shop.

Pris came over to find me

and we went to somewhere near my dad shop for Botak Jones.
hmm, had my sirloin steak while Pris had her regular Cajun chicken.

not as nice as i thought it would be. haha.

after work, went cineleisure. had Shokudo. looks appealing but tasted not so.

Pris and her eyes. LOL

watch Confessions Of A Shopaholic.
hmm, i give 3 out of 5. not very hilarious. but the ending part did make me in tears.
i dont really know why, cause the ending wasnt a sad one, but it just made me emo.

i am mad. keke.

show ended around 1am plus.

after that Pris gotta go home as she got school later in the morning.

so i went meet Kevin at Hougang Plaza for some billiard.

the results, dont need to say; LOSE.

but i am gettin more and more pro, thanks to him ;)

after that, went makan and chatted. awww. his boss sucks.

i kinda pity him. well kev, do jiayou okays and try discussing with him perhaps.

BUT

can just humtum him if you really cant tolerate his ........ anymore!!!

wahaha..

home sweet home just now around 4 plus..

and start blogging.

hmm, supposingly i should be tired cause i woke up early at 9am plus but i am not!

about 21hours didnt sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zzz? WHY???

crave

2009-04-06T07:11:00.001+08:00

I FEEL LIKE GOING FOR A HOLIDAY!!!!

LOL.

i got the crave, an urge. to travel!

i got no reason, just feel like.

arhhhh, can it happen??? keke.

just got home not long but still have to bring bb edlysia for her injection later.

went out earlier on around 2am plus with kevin to kbox SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have to wait for mum come back from her mahjong session, its already 1am =(

i wannnnnnaaaaa sing for very long. haha hmm seems like 2weeks or so is not very long,

but for me, it is!

i am a SINGAHOLIC! =P

only sang for 3 hours cause by the time we reached cineleisure is about 3am.

but nevermind, its enough. at least i got the chance to sing. =)

i was so sleepy and giddy through out, and the reason came in the morning.

aunty visit* -.-

so now i am super duper tired.................................................. 0.0

first cereal

2009-04-02T15:45:00.005+08:00

EDLYSIA'S FIRST CEREAL

yesterday meet Pris at Hougang Mall with baby edlysia around noon.

went Ichiban Sushi for lunch.

baby edlysia sleeping on my lap during our lunch.

LOL.

cutie =P

after lunch, went walk around the mall.

bought some baby food for baby edlysia.

cabbed home around 5pm.

reach home, wait for baby edlysia to wake to have her FIRST cereal.

omg~ she loves it so much. she is so impatient for the cereal.

she will just yell if she have the cereal slower.

her Frisco milk cereal

see her cute look with cereal over her mouth. =D
i just realised edlysia growing her third teeth! on the left upper gum.
another tiny white thingy popping out! and its another canines!
LOL.
she gonna be just like a vampie!! =X

video of edlysia flipping. :)

bb edlysia

2009-03-30T18:06:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 4 MONTHS!

BABY EDLYSIA =D

baby edlysia is 4 months old today. and shocking news:

mummy realised baby edlysia had her teeth growing already just now!

when mummy told me, i was like huh? real anot?

then mummy put her finger in, and said, confirm lah.

cause there is already white HARD thingy popping out from baby edlysia's gum!

but suprisingly, abnormally in the very inner part of her gum?!?

is this normal? she seems like growing her molars - 'da ya' on her bottom left gum.

i was so amazed, so i use my fingers to expose her gum to see more clearly

and i found another white thingy on her upper gum!

and a canines on her upper right gum! which is so not common.

thought babies should grow insicors first, isnt it?

now her upper gum looks like a vampie! =X

here are the evidences:

click to enlarge!

isit teeth?

LOL.

i am also having my wisdom tooth! so painful.

but tolerating.....

anyway baby edlysia is now able to flip like nobody business.

zzz. from chest-up to chest-down. vice-versa.

she loves sucking her fists.

anything she grabs, it will head right into her mouth!

dangerous. cannot leave her unattended now.

drinking 120ml still. but perhaps due to teething.

she got not much appetite recently. sometimes couldnt even finish.

she is mumbling her baby talk more and more.

especially before she dozed off to sleep, she will mumble non-stop.

as if she is nagging. wahaha. really cute!

her hair and my hair are competing in dropping rate.

but i think i still win hers. =P
love her soooooooooooo much. ;D

movie

2009-03-29T17:47:00.003+08:00

went dad shop with baby edlysia just now.

just reach home. tired. but still deciding to sleep now or later?

haha.

please ignore my rubbish.

............................................................................................

recently, watch John Cena's 12 Rounds. hmm, i thinks it rate just 50-50.

an average show. not say very nice but yet not too bad thou. haha.

its worth your time watching IF you just want to kill time. =X

well, actually i wanted to watch Mall Cop. !!! Or the Confession of the Shopaholic.?

but the timing not right. =(

days are getting boring, want to work work work!

waiting for the KKH medical social worker for the infant care till i am growing roots already yah!!!!!

so farking long! all they say is WAIT! -.-" ive waited for a month!!!!!!!!

sometimes really felt pissed lorx. i am not being impatience, seems like they are just delaying, agree?

darren had been asking me out few times, but didnt get to go. i dont know why, every time he ask, either i am going out or had fallen asleep.

LOL.

felt bad. but i thinks he is just too unlucky bah. or maybe just no fate. haha.

lastly,

i did not

MIA

just didnt get to online for the past few days.

LOL.

thats all. ;)

loving baby edlysia always =D

test

2009-03-26T03:32:00.003+08:00

got the source from Pris's blog

and its quite true. amazingly, cause i only choose colours.!!

take this test - color revelation - colorgenics

http://goldinuniverse.com/

and shall share my result:

Name: fionne

Date: 3/25/2009

Colorgenics Number: 34570612

Utmost in your mind is success. You are constantly seeking stimulation and a life full of experience. You are trying to 'grow' and above all you need to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt. You are an enthusiastic individual, full of life with the desire to live intensely. You like contact with others and are enthusiastic by nature. You are receptive to anything new, modern or intriguing. Your interests are many and you are likely to expand your fields of activities. You are optimistic about the future and you deserve every success because deep down you are a 'winner'.
You dislike playing the field in every sense of the word. When you develop a relationship it needs to be a close fulfilling one, one that has deep meaning for all parties concerned.
You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment.
Your inherent powers and perseverance are in danger of being overwhelmed by excessive stress. You have a great deal of resilience which is being overtaxed by the continued attempt to overcome existing difficulties but you are sticking to your objectives in spite of the intolerable pressure. After considerable reflection you believe that it is impossible to reverse the situation and so you would truly like to be free of it altogether.
The tensions that you are trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond your control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get your own way, you are subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger. You are trying to remedy the situation but the stress that you are experiencing is making the situation even worse. You feel so inadequate that you are not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve your tension.

-------------------------------------------------------

went dad shop early in the morning. with baby edlysia and mummy.

oh, the people there loves baby edlysia sooo much! :)

one WHOLE day. 11hours.

Pris came over to find me awhile after her school.

chat. slack. play with baby edlysia.

she went off around 5pm plus.

bored as business is damn bad recently. no much customer.

plus raining! makes me want to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

reach home nearly 11pm. thought of going out but in the end,

slept. dozed off around 12am plus. i know i was tired.

BUT. woke up just now at 2am plus!

sick right!?! want to sleep but cant fall back to my dreamland.

so i am blogging at this timing!

maybe i am really too stress. =X

but what VERY ACTIVE physical activity can i do to relieve my tension??

LOL.

i think only singing makes me =D

appreciation

2009-03-24T12:23:00.005+08:00

after half a year of absence, ive made a post in my friendster's blog:

MY APPRECIATION

days passes real fast, its like a second, now my baby girl is going 4mths old soon ^,^ talking about her, well she's now a cute & chubby sweetie. although she's quite naughty as my parents been pampering her alot, but she is still my top priority and my precious gem. life had been tiring and hard at times, but ive tried my best to enjoy my life too. also, i must thanks those people who had been around helping me out, giving me support and strength, thus making my life happier. thanks all my friends!!! i seriously appreciated every bits. ive realise that during my down period of life, things can be more visible to me. making me open up my eyes wide enough to see people around me. i had great buddies like Eileen, Pris, Mq, Seng, Kevin, Peter, PL etc..

great friends makes life GREAT! =D

-------------------------------------------------------------------

anyway, i ve been suspecting my loss of weight recently as clothings are getting loose.

and yes, im 41kg now. awww.. wasnt really happy cause 40kg was my pre-natal weight.

and its underweight! -.-

i thought 45kg is the best. i never wish to drop my weight.

i only wish that to slim into better shape.

LOL.

somemore, my hair is dropping alot lately.

so sucky, to see my hair all over everywhere!!!

some says

2009-03-23T16:34:00.003+08:00

yes. change blog song.

nice one. with nice tempo and lyrics.

RIGHT NOW - AKON

friday and saturday, been waking up damn early.

thus, also slept early. although couldnt sleep much.

was broke. yes, pathetically broke.

when Pris ask me wanna go Powerhouse on saturday night,

also unable to go. even i felt like so.

not being in very good terms with mum lately.

she's been nagging like hell. im going crazy. =X

i do understand her point of view,

as she might not really understand my whole situation.

i choose to keep quiet. but sometimes her words are really contradicting.

and dont make sense at all.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

that will really hurt me and thats where my unhappiness come from.

hard to deny, yes she's the source.

hopefully, there could be improvements.

went out last night. lol. or i can say is morning?

suppose to meet kevin at 1am plus 2am. was planning to sing or movie.

but but but......

in the end, he met me around 5am! so we went eat instead.

shall not elaborate the reason why he's so late, just can say, he's so unlucky. =P

im happier.?

thoughts

2009-03-20T22:01:00.000+08:00

WONDERING.

its never possible to know someone totally.

as we are all individual soul

IF only i can be YOU

perhaps i will know the exact YOU

its good enough to have someone that understand

determination and stubborness is hard to differentiate

there is no wrong being determine

BUT if almost everyone is pointing the faults on you

maybe you should do a self-reflection on yourself

stop putting others as the cause of your doings

as it might be your stubborness

everyone has the freedom and rights

but use it wisely

please dont trespass into others' compound

and yell when you had already been asked to go off.

this is call demanding.

lastly,

im highlighting here yet again for that idiotic someone to see.

KM, JUST FUCK OFF FROM HERE!

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

STOP YOUR WHATEVER SHIT, I GOT NO INTEREST IN WHAT YOU SAYS.

PLEASE KINDLY CHECK YOUR DICTIONARY

IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN!

party

2009-03-19T22:15:00.005+08:00

PARTY NIGHT

@ St James Powerhouse

p.s: sorie that my pics looks kinda small. will upload again when free.

finally, after waiting like for million years, had the chance to go clubbing once again. =D

yipee! haha. really for a very long time didnt step into this kind of place.

so missed it!

used to be a clubber, really loves the atmosphere of people dancing and having fun together.

but now, cannot be the same anymore ya.

alright, end of my craps. yesterday went ladies night at Powerhouse.

Pris came over my house first and then we cabbed down to find peiling together with her bf - kelvin.

coincidentally, peiling's friend is helding her birthday party there. so we joined them.

although i dont know her. only know her name.

LOL

so crowded but quite fun and enjoying.

me and Pris spent most our time on the dancefloor. wooow~

like the part when lots of balloons dropping from above.!

too bad didnt manage to capture that scene.

it was so nice!!!!

party till 4am. reach home around 4am plus.

but still not the end of the day.

met Kevin and we went play billiard AGAIN.=.=

after that go for some foods and talk, in the end reach home nearly 11am. =X

power right. hahas.

still have to continue my day without much sleep to take care baby edlysia. =)

anyway, so tired but its really fun. so its worth it !

`how i wish i can see you again.

ponder

2009-03-18T04:16:00.002+08:00

meet kevin at house downstair. 1am plus.

supposingly he ride me to buy cigerette.

in the end went to play billiard.

LOL.

sibei paiseh. no make-up with spectacles.

somemore never bring wallet out, no i/c with me too.

simply empty-handed. cause i thought just at house downstair.

first time go out like that. omg!

luckily only for awhile. just reach home at 4am.

should i?

locked

2009-03-17T06:29:00.001+08:00

DONT WISH TO TALK MUCH.

JUST NO MOOD.

I can be HAPPY.

dad shop

2009-03-16T23:37:00.000+08:00

shall not be simplifying the details.

yesterday morning, bring baby edlysia to dad shop.

her boring look.

business is quiet. so dad closed his shop early at 2plus.

on our way back, started to rain.

the dark clouds.

mum went for mahjonging as usual.

wait till she come back around 12am. i went out.

reached home monday and sleep all the way.

im so very tired and had fall sick now. =(

not feeling of blogging much so below are all random pics of baby edlysia & me.

pardon me, for my shag look.

and also, i did not edit the pics. too lazy. =X

if you realised, some pics pf me & baby edlysia have the same expression!!!

LOL.

dye

2009-03-15T04:26:00.000+08:00

my hair is fading.

expected.

as i used henna dye to dye my hair.

well, i didnt plan to dye my hair,

it just happen that my house have a few packet of black henna dye.

so i DYED it. perhaps wanna see myself in black bah.

afterall i know henna dye dont last, and it will fade.

now maybe will dye again - cause its very cheap. or leave it to fade.

WAHAHAHA~

updates

2009-03-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

shall upload me & baby edlysia pics

SOON

seems like ive left her out here, nope!

she is still on my toplist!

bringing her to dad's shop tml. =D

the aunties & uncles there miss her alot.

haha. she is a STAR now over there.

they keep bugging my mum to ask me bring her over.

hee, so glad she's so loved by many people.

im so forunate to be her mummy. *wink

life getting abit down recently. perhaps i am really too bored.

or am i having depression?

i dont know. sometimes i cried for nothing.

not a good sign although i know i am one emotional being.

LOL.

i must cure myself!!!!!

i want to get a JOB asap.

life sucks having nothing to busy of as to me,

somehow taking care of baby edlysia is not a job.

she is my love but i think i really need to work.

random

2009-03-13T23:55:00.005+08:00

love this song so much

its by one of my favourite artist

RICHIE REN XIAN QI

风云决

风往哪里吹吹到海角天涯之巅

究竟为了谁为谁在留恋

云往哪里飞飞过千山万水之边

茫茫人海中何处是停歇

刀光剑影人心看似终点又回到起点

寻寻觅觅人间在你怀里我沉睡到永远

命运的手推我向前我随你而摇随你而飞

爱恨纠结难分难解又何苦在缠绵

等待了你誓言了我既然要追寻又何必后悔

天上一天地下万年终究是残念

心静如止水恩怨情仇过往云烟怎奈风一起山河日月变

刀光剑影人心看似终点又回到起点

寻寻觅觅人间在你怀里我沉睡到永远

命运的手推我向前我随你而摇随你而飞

爱恨纠结难分难解又何苦在缠绵

等待了你誓言了我既然要追寻又何必后悔

天上一天地下万年终究是残念

失去一切却只有你一直在我身边

我赢回一切，却再也无法共婵娟

命运的手推我向前我随你而摇随你而飞

爱恨纠结难分难解又何苦在缠绵

等待了你誓言了我既然要追寻又何必后悔

天上一天地下万年终究是残念

sibei suay

2009-03-13T05:49:00.003+08:00

im suay.. seriously i am really very suay!!!!!!

play billiard also can injured my leg!!!!!!!!

darren ask me to go east coast earlier on but i cant make it.

was planning to stay home but last minute went billiard at

hougang plaza with kevin just now around 2am.

i lost as usual. BUT that is not the main point im high-lighting.

the main unlucky thing is near our last game kevin shoot the ball as i walked towards the hole.

only halfway the ball jump out and dont know how it hit my ankle!!! directly on my bone.

too sudden, i didnt even realised the ball jumping out, but worst is i wasnt standing there, im walking yet that small ball can hit me and so 'zhun' on my ankle bone!

immediate numbness and pain. i think it hit my veins too.

within less than few minutes, blue-black. zzzz.

and he can keep laughing at me non-stop!!! what an idiot!!!!!!!

its karma... cause just before he shoot the ball i said that the hole at the corner is 'xie meng'

as no matter how we tried, the balls just couldnt go in that particular hole.

sorry, i really shouldnt had said that... the punishment? haix. i am limping NOW. so shit so shit.

people say " lang suay, chi gau bian gong guay "

[ when you're unlucky, breed dog also can turn into chicken ]

LOL.

so farking true!

so with my limping leg, have to stop playing billiard.

after billiard kevin want to catch soft toys at those machine.

wah lau, can see the soft toy been grab up, reaching the dropping point but shake shake, fall off!

he played twice, and twice the similar case. so close!!! but just no luck - suay~

wanted to go eat, but cant. my leg aching real bad.

so went home. just reached home at 5am plus.

conclusion

i am SUAY!!!!

edited* i just realised today is FRIDAY the 13 AGAIN! =X

no wonder... wahahaha

last month the 13, i am not unlucky..

`friends is all i need now. =D

boring

2009-03-11T20:59:00.003+08:00

AWWW.... !!!

Pris going Dragonfly or Powerhouse tonight, or probably right now. i wanted to go BUT i CANT!

*CRYING OUT LOUD =(

its a very unlucky day for me. mum had arranged her mahjong session and dad suprisingly say he's going fishing later at night after work! and as i thought since mum is asking her friends over my house to play mahjong, i can at least go out BUT my brothers go out also! ZZZZZ. they dont usually go out on WED. and mum's mahjong session is usually either MON,THURS or SUN. but i dont know WHY, happens that EVERYONE got something on today!!!!!!! - on a wednesday.

specially TODAY!

am i suay?? i think i obviously is lor.

waited so long to go club club club... haix. oh jolly well, as you can see i got no chance no fate. -.-"

i am hoping that i can go out, even until this very moment. stucking at home for almost a year.

yes, tell me: a year. who dont goes CRAZY?!?!?! - i mean about not working -

i am now awaiting for KKH's medical social worker to search for infant care for baby edlysia.

they say i could get a discounted rate cause i am a single mum.

they ask me to give them 2 weeks time to contact me?!?! ......

because they say they need to go do some research about my family background, situation and also income before they can decide whether am i eligible.

hopefully soon bah. i am seriously bored dead.

black

2009-03-10T03:07:00.003+08:00

AMAZINGLY

i dyed my hair..

its almost BLACK now okay!!!!

can you believe it? lol. i cant believe that i eventually dyed it.

i also dont know why...

i must have been out of my mind man....

wahahaha~ siao liao lah!

` how long can i last?

sing

2009-03-09T16:22:00.002+08:00

SICK!!!

yesterday suppose to sing with Mq and Seng. but they didnt confirmed with me in the end.

so, ended up go sing with Kevin.

wait till he's done, meet him around 1am.

went Cineleisure Kbox and... very shit. i only sang one song and out of a sudden i lost my voice!!!

its not sore throat or what, neither did i shouted or what, its just no voice!

totally demoralising me as im the one who wanted to SING afterall!!! =(

since i cant sing so Kevin do all the singing.

so haiiixxxxx....i tried to eat lemon, but, no cure. then i tried coke, haha, and it does helps! =)

amazing right? LOL. not really very well but at least i got some voice to sing a lil more.

reached home nearly 6am, yawn~ so sleepy can. dozed off immediately after wash up.

-- locked post --

` there is always solution to problem.

baby

2009-03-07T20:27:00.000+08:00

baby edlysia

always wanted to sit up. doesnt like lying down.

loves to see cartoon images.

start to mumble everytime she see it as though she was talking to them.

loves to hug her bolster. =)

loves to play, watch tv and listen to music.

luckily, after her injection that day she didnt have much fever.

only slightly higher temperature of 37.2 degree celcius.

so eventually didnt give her the medicine that the doctor prescribed in case of fever.

but, she did lost some appetite for the past few days.

cant even finish her 90ml milk!

but she is still as chubby! ;)

LOL.

she is my precious!!!! love her always.